Transcript 73: The Doppleganger Ghost of Beacon Hill Park

Clayton: Is This A Ghost? is brought to you by Pickney Bend Distillery. I have a couple of notes about our last ad, Pat, last week.

Patrick: Oooh.. Notes.

Clayton: This is. It’s. It’s constructive criticism.

Patrick: Okay, well, that’s good.

Clayton: Well, this was your first time doing the ad.

Patrick: It was my first time doing it. yeah. Yeah, my. Okay. That’s right. No, no.

Clayton: So you haven’t listened to it yet? I did. Jeremy sent me a cut in and just.

Patrick: A note from Jeremy. Fuck. Okay. This is good.

Clayton: Yeah, These? Yes, actually, yes. You know what? Yes. Jeremy said these two passes. This is not me talking. It’s Jeremy. You know, I got to tell you, I got to do it. Jeremy says that’s why Jeremy thinks you boy. First of all, you came out strong.

Patrick: Thank you. Thank you. Jeremy.

Clayton: In terms of volume, like, too strong. So strong.

Patrick: You want me to start messing with some knobs over here.

Clayton: No, I don’t. I don’t. Know. I think you. Did. You’ll see. And you’ll see this in two days. It wasn’t the episode.

Patrick: It’s it’s.

Clayton: Jarring. It’s a jarring start to the.

Patrick: You know what? You know what, though? You know what, though? It sounds a lot like Jeremy’s problem. That’s Jeremy’s problem.

Clayton: Well, now, that’s a good point. That’s a good. You know what? I’ll pass that back on.

Patrick: Please you. Please do.

Clayton: The second one is last week’s ad was almost 9 minutes long. And so I think today we should be doing. A little bit and we’re not doing a good job of that yet. But I think I think we could do a real short ad today.

Patrick: Okay, good.

Clayton: So, go.

Patrick: No, this isn’t this isn’t good. Let me okay. Let me get me on the website.

Clayton: I see. I think this is where we go wrong. I think going on the website is where we’re going to go wrong.

Patrick: I’m gonna get lost. You know? I’m gonna get lost. The website again. I don’t want to do this.

Clayton: Yeah. Try something else. I don’t really have anything. Okay. Okay. So I guess we’ll cut that dead air.

Patrick: Oh absolutely.

Clayton: And Patrick, just. I don’t know. I don’t know how Jeremy is going to end up cutting this, but that was that was.

Patrick: You know, this is a lot of this is a lot of talk about Jeremy, and you. Jeremy loves Jeremy keeps coming up in here And this this kind of has like like a boss of it all type feel to it like this.

Clayton: Jeremy does.

Patrick: Does Jeremy exist? Is Jeremy just like a scapegoat here? Is it like, well, you know, Jeremy was really critical of your audio last week.

Clayton: Listen, listen, listen, I will not be interrogated like this from you from the likes of you. All right?

Patrick: Jeremy is a very, very easy name to make up.

Clayton: So this is not. yeah. You think someone could just go with Jeremy Montoya? You think the last name Montoya? Just like pairs with Jeremy automatically? Absolutely not. It’s Hispanic, first of all. And Jeremy is, I don’t know, something different than that. So how dare you?!

Patrick: Irish? Scotch. Irish, obviously.

Clayton: So we’ll take this conversation off line. Patrick, I don’t I, I’m, I’m offended. I’m insulted. I don’t ever hear that kind of talk again. And if you if.

Patrick: And if you also don’t wanna hear Patrick talk again.

Clayton: Then buy some Pickney Bend. PickneyBend.com. it was shorter in that I liked that.

Patrick: I never heard that before.

Clayton: Dr. Brown Some of that. I. Leave it to you discretion. Jeremy. Oh boy.

Hello. Hello, everybody. Hello, dear friends.

Patrick: Hello, listeners of this.

Clayton: Welcome to Is This a Ghost? This is a podcast, and every week.

Patrick: What’s with the weird inflection? Are you, like, reading this backwards or something?

Clayton: Is this one a ghost?

Patrick: This is a ghost?

Clayton: Is this a ghost? And now I’ve. I’ve lost my place. We had to start over again.

Patrick: We’re in the intro. How do you lose your place?

Clayton: Well, it’s going to be a long night, isn’t it?

Patrick: Clearly.

Clayton: Welcome, welcome, welcome, everybody. To Is This a Ghost. This is a podcast, and every week I Clayton Smith, tell a real ghost story from real history to my real friend Patrick Dean, who doesn’t take it real seriously. You know, as you can probably tell from the way that he is just.

Patrick: Loud sigh in the middle of your intro. Yes, absolutely.

Clayton: Oh boy. How was is the marathon? Did you set any PRs?

Patrick: I, I set a PR for like how fast we could, you know, get out of town. I guess.

Clayton: I was, just so everyone knows. You were in Chicago for the Chicago marathon? Yep. I did not say hello. No, you were here.

Patrick: No, no, I was each.

Clayton: We see each Other in person So rarely and you did not say hello.

Patrick: Okay.

Clayton: Well, now the toilets going. So. There’s just so much to be angry about.

Patrick: I’m just going to ride this one out. Fuck it.

Clayton: Fine. Don’t. Don’t mute. I don’t think you should mute the.

Patrick: Jeremy’s got the filter set up. It’s fine. Yeah.

Clayton: Yeah, you can do it. You came to Chicago for the marathon, and. And I guess you went pretty fast. So you’re talking. Say, okay, that’s. I also can sit here and not say anything.

Patrick: Just waiting for the toilet.

Clayton: I like that. Every week is kind of a new challenge for Jeremy. You know. I’m like a different type of challenge.

Patrick: He’s earning his stripes. I’ll tell you what.

Clayton: Boy, and how.

Patrick: He’s not earning any, like, money for the stripes, but he is, there you go.

Clayton: Also, Jen, I never I never want to say both of them, you know, because it’s too. It’s too many words to say both names, but.

Patrick: Well, because I mean, honestly, Jen, there’s not a whole lot to clean up here, if you know what I mean. But Jeremy. Jeremy is…

Clayton: The YouTube. Watchers don’t come here for the voices friends.  that’s right.

Patrick: Yeah.

Clayton: Anyway, how was your marathon?

Patrick: Great. traveled all the way to Chicago. The three screaming kids in the car didn’t know. I mean, I made sure to drive all the way up there and. And then not even stop by really, you know, mean I’m only in Chicago like, twice a year. I figured I should probably not come by and. Not say anything.

Clayton: I think that seems right. I’m you should go to is I did invite you to a brewery event and you did invite me to a day in the park. And these don’t feel equal.

Patrick: I mean, I had again three screaming children and a mother-in-law to take care of. So inviting me to a fucking Octoberfest celebration is kind of like not inviting me anything at all, if you want, you know?

Clayton: Yeah. Kind of. But I did.

Patrick: Did you catch up with me?

Clayton: I wanted to offer the invitation. I want you to feel. I want you to know that you’re welcome. No matter what your situation, you are always welcome to.

Patrick: I appreciate that.

Clayton: Be with me.

Patrick: I appreciate that. And, you know, I hope you understand that. You know, my invitation that you come all the way downtown on Marathon Sunday, dragging your family with you to Maggie Daley Park for, like 45 minutes. It’s also kind of a non invitation.

Clayton: Yeah, I understand that completely because as fun as Maggie Daley Park is a real gem in the city no doubt. But the I couldn’t I couldn’t even think of the logistics of how to get across the marathon to get to that park. I think it might involve going around Indiana, to Michigan and getting across the lake.

Patrick: Now the secret is you send Ivy across first and then you do like the frazzled parent chasing the kid across the marathon thing.

Clayton: That’s pretty good.

Patrick: And then poof, everybody’s across. Saw a bunch of people doing it.

Clayton: That’s a good idea. You can use that for parades too.

Patrick: It was like when we got there, Maggie Daley Park was closed, but someone had clearly just, like, taken all the barriers and just rip them off.

Clayton: Not today Satan.

Patrick: I don’t know what the fuck to do with these kids for 4 hours in downtown Chicago when everything’s closed.

Clayton: This Park is now open. The bean is closed. We have to have the park.

Patrick: Oh man. You know they closed the bean. We’re trying to close Maggie Daley. It’s.

Clayton: You know. The marathon comes and you got hooligans. They try to steal the bean. You got to hide it.

Patrick: I know.

Clayton: They try to steal the park. Got to hide that from these tourists. These tourists are the problem. I don’t think Chicago is so violent. No, we just have tourists. That’s the problem.

Patrick: Too many of. Them. Too many. So. Yeah. So came up, saw that. it was miserable and got to watch Amy run the race. She seemed to have a great time.

Clayton: She set a PR right?

Patrick: She set a PR. She Yeah. She beat her old time like 15 minutes or something like that. So she

Clayton: That’s, that’s a big one. Pretty good for having covid last week.

Patrick: I think. I think she’s kind of figured out a little strategy here, to be honest with you. You know.

Clayton: Is It to run faster.

Patrick: No. well to get all the way to the 20 mile like, you know, 20 mile milestone of your training and then get a pandemic level infectious disease, let it ravage your body, and then go take.

Clayton: A disease that’s particularly famous for injuring your lungs. Correct. You are the second most vital part of your body when around in fun after legs.

Patrick: She is complaining about her lungs a lot today. And I don’t really know how seriously to take it because she you know, I can’t let her talk too much. It’s very quiet. So, yeah, I don’t think it’s there are.

Clayton: Through all the coughs. I can’t make out a single word.

Patrick: I would if she was serious, she would be saying it a lot louder.

Clayton: I think so, Yeah. Frantic about it. My favorite

Patrick: Good News is no interruptions on the podcast  tonight, it doesn’t sound like.

Clayton: She cannot physically walk down stairs either. At this point. Her legs are so shot, so she will be in the basement.

Patrick: I can hear some scratching on the floor upstairs.

Clayton: There’s this tapping, but I don’t know Morse code. So yeah, I don’t know what she expects

Patrick: And she knows I don’t know Morse code. So she’s not going to. Yeah.

Clayton: That’s a whole thing of course.

Patrick: Is, is Morse code just shaving a hair cut to bits over and over again. It is. Okay.

Clayton: Right. So what’s happening.

Patrick: Yeah. I don’t know what that is in Morse code.

Clayton: I think it’s. Have fun tonight, dear.

Patrick: You bitch.

Clayton: Yeah, that definitely that’s part of their my favorite part about the marathon about marathon Sunday is the day after. And I go to work and I see so many people limping across. The loop because they have just run 26 miles. And I think that’s what that serves you right. I like that. Is my heart too Good to see how how broken your body is.

Patrick: Yeah.

Clayton: You closed down my city for. For no reason, really. just to show people that you can. You can. I mean, running, first of all, running is basically walking a little faster. Except for the people who go real fast, but, like.

Patrick: Yeah, Yeah. Well, in, like, do they really just shut down the city for you to run 26 miles? Can’t you just go to, like, a track and just run around 150 times?

Clayton: Hey, I run a lot, actually, and I do it on the sidewalks like a no, I don’t say, Hey, I’m going to go for a jog today. Can you please shut down Lakeshore Drive? Yeah. No.

Patrick: No.

Clayton: I run on the sidewalks. I run through parks.

Patrick: Exactly.

Clayton: It’s not hard.

Patrick: You know what’s a really fun thing to do on the on the blue line. Whenever it is fucking swollen with people. Absolutely. It is fucking swollen with hipsters. It’s to bring a goddamn jogging stroller on to the blue line that is so big and so full of your family shit that you can’t even fold it up on the train.

Clayton: Now you understand? In this scenario you are the villain.

Patrick: I know I do. I was. I was the absolute villain of, like, the 4:05 p.m. blue line to O’Hare. People were talking about me the whole time, although literally probably only the third most hated trip I’ve been on on the blue line, you know, myself personally.

Clayton: Sure.

Patrick: There was last year when June just like scream the entire time and they clapped when I got off the train. You didn’t want to be the guy who they clap. That’s right. Seriously, We go to Cumberland and there was a clapping that stops.

Clayton: Yeah.

Patrick: So this year yeah.

Clayton: Still this used to be your city. And now I know we have turned on you, so.

Patrick: Yeah. God bless you. Yeah, I got to. I got onto the train again with all three daughters. June in the jogging stroller. June, by the way, is four years old and can totally fucking walk. But. But, but.

I don’t like, you know, waiting for her, so I just threw in a jogging stroller for, you know, one day out of the year we get on the train, there’s like no room for anybody on this train. And I shut myself on the jogging stroller and the two other girls. Then in the other, like nine square inches of the train, a guy shoves his way on smoking a cigarette with a huge like JBL boombox, just like blasting rap.

And I think to myself, finally, someone people hate more than me on this train. And I turn around and he’s not getting dirty looks. I’m getting the dirty looks and.

Clayton: I know what I’m like really. Here’s what’s on actually. So you’ve been gone for a few years. the smoking on the train. It’s baked in now. It was like it.

Patrick: it seemed very. Yeah, it seemed very, very mundane for the most part.

Clayton: During the pandemic, smokers and other ne’er do wells, they took the trains over because no one was riding them. And they were like, This is my time. And so post-pandemic, when people start going back to the train, everyone is like, What is all? What’s going on about cigarette smoke? This has been a big deal. I’m pretty, I’m pretty plugged in to to complaints about the CTA from a different different project. I work on.

Patrick: Fair enough. Yes.

Clayton: So I’m here to tell you people have been really mad. They spent about a two years really mad about it. But now, now it’s just like, wow, people smoke on the seats. I think they’ve always smoked on the train. I think I think this is a smoking train, right. Because it’s happened for for two years now. So. So now someone gets on with the cigarette that’s nothing but you, you fucking monster with your big ass stroller and your children. How dare you?

Patrick: And I’m. Desperately trying to fold the thing up, but there’s like, you need room to fold up a stroller that big and there’s not even that.

Clayton: Room, the space of the stroller to fold up the stroller.

Patrick: I knew I used to love the blue light. Blue line was the grossest fucking train in the whole city. And I loved I remember. It’s me, you. I don’t know who else was on it. Sarah Maybe. And we’re on the train and you can correct me anywhere here in your mind. Preaching, right? We’re on the train, We’re on the blue. We’re heading back to Logan Square, and somebody throws up on on the train in the car between stops.

Clayton: St Patrick’s Day.

Patrick: Day. It was a day. It was. It could have been St Patrick’s Day.

Clayton: It was day of the full vomit. Vomit in every car.

Patrick: Yeah. So. Well, thanks for ruining the story, Dick.

Clayton: I think we’ve told this story before actually, as well. I guess I’m pretty sure. But go on, Go ahead. You can stop.

Patrick: No, no, no, no, no. If you already told the story, I don’t.

Clayton: Okay. Hey, listeners, let us know if you’ve heard the story about vomit in every car. And if not, we. I’m sure you want to hear it.

Patrick: Let me. Let me go to the Wikipedia.

Clayton: Yeah, go is as you think.

Patrick: Has AI made a Wikipedia for us, yet?

Clayton: Hey, well, you know what we could do?

Patrick: Because we have a third listener.

Clayton: Yeah, we just said, Hey, Patrick, if you want a Wikipedia page for this, I guess we’re going to have to find a listener volunteer to do it for us because I don’t have the time and now we just wait. We probably have an email already saying with a volunteer, we’ll shoot you want to hear a ghost story.

Patrick: yeah, sure.

Clayton: wait. Before we get to that do I have improv energy.

Patrick: No.

Clayton: I don’t think so either.

Patrick: No, definitely not.

Clayton: Good. I was at work today and we were doing that. We’re doing an open house event for high school students to come and see the college and, you know, and one of the people presenting, we didn’t think they were going to show up. And so there was a conversation with some people. My office was like, well, someone’s going to have to go out there and and give their presentation.

And we’re like, Well, I don’t know anything about admissions. And then one of the people, Charles, who is wonderful and who runs our department administratively speaking, he makes all the gears turn, he’s great.

Patrick: He’s your boss, right?

Clayton: Well, I mean, effectively.

Patrick: So yeah. So he’s like, great. But he’s like your boss. Great.

Clayton: He’s not my boss, but he is. He he should be. He should be. Because he is the most competent person I think I’ve ever worked with. So yeah. So he says, Well, Clayton, you, you have improv training, so you should do it.

Patrick: You improve training. He thinks you had improv training.

Clayton: That’s what he said. And I was surprised. I was so taken aback. I didn’t respond immediately because I thought,

Patrick: I mean, this should be the first indication that you don’t have improv training that you didn’t have any response.

Clayton: You would think I was. And I said. What? And he said, he’s like, I’ve only had one improv class, so I am not the one for this. But but so I think it’s going to have to be you. And I thought son of a bitch.

That’s a terrible thing to say. I don’t have improv at the one improv energy. Improv, I, I just improvise. I’m going to say something and I want to be heard on this improv. Those people who practice improv are the carnies of the stage. I have no interest in it being associated with that sort of, that sort of energy.

And I was very surprised and I, I don’t, I don’t exude improv, do I. No, I hate saying yes. And, and. So there’s no way, there’s no way.

Patrick: Didn’t you tell me one time that you write down all the jokes you tell on the show?

Clayton: Yeah. Yeah. Could you be. I I’m reading from a script right now. It’s impossible. What a stupid thing to think, Charles. I’m just, Anyway, well, I’m glad I. If you had said yes, I have improv energy. You know, I was going to throw myself out the window. This is a basement window, so it’s. There is a window.

Patrick: To climb, up.

Clayton: A Glass window. It’s hard. It’s hard to do. So I’m glad you. I’m glad you said no, not because of the fall, but because I don’t like to climb anyway. Okay. Now, now that we have that settled, do you want to hear a ghost story? It’s been bothering me all day. I don’t want to be associated with improv.

And listen, listeners, you might do improv. Hey, God, love you. All right? You’re doing some cool things, I bet, with imaginary props. And I gosh, you know, it’s like miming, but you can talk and not everyone can do that. boy. It’s been. It’s been with me all day.

Patrick: I’m not going be as hard on you because I literally don’t know what this show is about until you do so. So it’s it’s a little. Bit more of what I do, I guess. Okay. Yeah, right. Yeah.

Clayton: Actually, you’ve got the improv energy.

Patrick: I do.

Clayton: You’ve got the weird carney idiot.

Patrick: You. I am. Yeah. This is true. I spend I spend 0 seconds a week preparing for whatever this is. And I come out. Smelling like roses.

Clayton: And this is why the Halloween episode is our least popular episode of the year. Because I don’t have any of the jokes written down because I don’t know what you’re going to say.

Patrick: It’s the least popular episode in this household too. I’ll tell ya that much.

Clayton: I almost spit my drink in my microphone and let me tell you something is the last thing. And I swear we’re gonna get to the story. My mother in law’s here this weekend visiting us, and she’s no don’t make that face. She’s lovely.. It’s not an exaggeration. She’s great. She’s wonderful. Well, so.

Patrick: things are okay, right? Yeah.

Clayton: Yeah, things are great.

Patrick: Okay.

Clayton: She came to see the girls and hang out. Ivy’s birthday was this week, so she came and she’s wonderful. Last night we were at dinner and. And Maple. My three year old just apropos of absolutely goddamn nothing, says Grandma. Vic, you’re old. Are you going to die soon? And I spat my drink across the table and I haven’t done a spit take in so long. And I thought, I don’t know what to say. So I then I proceeded to just slide off my chair under the table. And that’s where I, that’s where I am now. I live under the table now and I’m never coming out.

Patrick: You know what? This just convinces me further. You do not have improv energy. No, this just not. No.

Clayton: No. Because if I did, I would say yes, she is. And so am i.

Patrick: And on. A long enough timeline. So are you.

Clayton: Boy, it was really something. Gosh, kids are. I wonder. Okay, let’s actually do this go story. Hey. Hi.

Patrick: I’m sure Jeremy’s really going to appreciate.

Clayton: As soon as I did that

Patrick: The silence and then you screaming.

Clayton: I did it occurred to me that this is this is a the wrong thing to do that we have now that we have. An unpaid intern. Oh boy.  Okay, so this is not for the boss because you can keep cutting Jeremy, at this point. But this is from Dawn, my colleague, who suggested a couple of good stories for us. Texted, I guess. She’s listening the whole episode today because she just texted. So the most interesting thing I learned today is that deer are stacked three deep on every square foot of Malachi. First runner up wild pigs are the Michael Phelps of ferocious animals. Second runner up ghosts have skeletons. What epistle? Here’s a here’s a fun new game. What episode do you think that was from?

Patrick: I really don’t even know.

Clayton: It must be Deer Island, right? That deer on Molokai. It must be episode one. No, it feels like we made those jokes not that long ago.

Patrick: Yeah, I mean, but, gosh.

Clayton: That should be. That’s a new segment on the show. Actually, Jeremy, don’t cut that. This new segment called it. Which jokes did this episode come from.

Patrick: No fear checking the wiki either because.

Clayton: Oh boy. All right, now, now it’s. But now, hey everyone, now is the ghost story. So if you’ve come here to hear a ghost story, I have good news for you. We have one. I’ve been recording for 27 minutes, but we have a ghost story. Do you want to hear it?

Patrick: At this point, I feel like I’m kind of pod committed, but sure.

Clayton: What would happen if you said no? I guess that would be the end of our podcast.

Patrick: You have to sit there and riff off of yourself for 35 minutes.

Clayton: As we’ve established. That’s not going to work. All right, let’s see. what does it say here? here we go. Well, Patrick. I think it’s. Well, Patrick, I hope you’re going to be on your best and most polite behavior. Patrick. Oh that’s too. I shouldn’t have written that twice.

Patrick: I mean, you have to read the script word for word.

Clayton: I hope you’re going to be on your best and most polite behavior, Patrick, because today we’re heading to Vancouver Island in Canada.

Patrick: Okay? We’ve been to Vancouver Island.

Clayton: There you go. So for 15 points. Can you tell me which ghost story from this podcast? We visited Vancouver Island.

Patrick: It was a bishop.

Clayton: It was a bishop very good.

Patrick: It was a Bishop I’m getting a lot of points here, but I’m not getting some points.

Clayton: Partial credit for sure.

Patrick: It’s just like on Family Feud where you got like answers to three and four, but there’s number one hanging out there.

Clayton: Yep.

Patrick: I don’t remember Bishop’s name.

Clayton: His name is Charles Seegers, Better known as the skull faced Bishop. Episode number nine, baby. Sometimes Long time ago.

Patrick: We’re doing it again.

Clayton: Yeah. People forgotten by now. I’ve run out of ghosts. We’ve covered all the ghosts. no. But that was our first visit to Vancouver Island. We’re going back now. We didn’t talk about Vancouver Island at some length in that episode, so I’m not going to go back and kind of rehash the things about the island. But in case you haven’t listen to the episode, here are the highlights. Number one, it is huge it is a very big island and Vancouver Island, not where Vancouver it is.

Patrick: Mm No.

Clayton: Those were the main points. But on the other, no. The southeastern tip of Vancouver Island is the town of Victoria, which we also discussed a little bit on that episode, I think. And Victoria is a pretty big, pretty big deal, pretty big town. Yeah, it’s one of their four towns. There are four cities in Canada and Victoria is one. It’s Victoria, Montreal, Toronto and Edmonton. And for the towns I don’t think so. I don’t know. That’s that’s unincorporated.

Patrick: Some backwater place like Van-van-Vancouver.

Clayton: Vancouver, Vancouver. That can’t be right. However, if you look so you look at a map you’ll, you’ll see that. So Victoria is how Victoria is actually closer to Washington State than it is to Vancouver in the city. So geography is that’s is a fun geography fact for you.

Patrick: Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. Not totally sure why they called it Victoria.

Clayton: It’s confusing, but probably after a queen. It’s weird because Canada was owned by the English and the French, and so there’s a lot of kind of mixed up references, though. Now that I say that out loud, we also were owned by the English and the French, so.

Patrick: Yeah, but we weren’t. As nice about it. Yeah.

Clayton: Yeah, that’s true. We weren’t as nice about it

Patrick: They were kind of like, I mean, I don’t like the, you know, the tax structure you got going here, but, you know, we’re getting along. I don’t I think I, I think we can find a way to, you know, to figure this out. America is like. Fuck you all,

Clayton: Fuck this tea I hate this.

Patrick: $0.05 on tea I’ll burn in front of you.

Clayton: Now give me Louisiana. Etc. Where are we.

Patrick: Somehow we turn into the country we are today. I really don’t get it.

Clayton: That’s how you know we can all do one. It’s it’s. It’s surprising. It’s sure is. Weird. Hey, we don’t have a House of Representatives right now that functions. There’s no leader. Anyway.

Patrick: I still wonder how, like, of these two countries between, like, Britain in the U.S., in Britain, the way their governing body works is it’s just like two groups of people that just scream at each other. And then they, like. Nominate the best screaming person from each side and they just scream at each other.

Clayton: Yeah, I.

Patrick: Look at that in like in a vacuum. If you were to take away all the names and whatnot, I’d be like, that’s the American system right there. Yes, absolutely Has to. Be. Yeah.

Clayton: But no, but they’re not. They’re we don’t scream. We’re not allowed to scream in our Congress. You are not allowed to wear shorts, John Fetterman, learned. The hard way. Yeah. and, you know.

Patrick: We govern entirely by clap backs and roasts on Twitter. Yeah, that’s apparently how we get stuff done nowadays.

Clayton: So, yeah. And you know, if you’re Matt Gaetz, you get by, by showing people videos of the girls he banged on the on the hallowed House of Republicans floor.

Patrick: What’s The House of Republicans.

Clayton: House of Representatives.

Patrick: Right.

Clayton: Is what I said. Dr Brown that. Here’s a clean one for you, House of Representatives. No?

Patrick: No. You couldn’t even remember what was leading up to it.

Clayton: It was I was trying to remember the energy and I thought that was that was it.

Patrick: It wasn’t it wasn’t that that was like kind of like town crier energy right there. I don’t think that was what you’re going for.

Clayton: See we were Talking about the Tea Party. I was thinking I wasn’t. I was in the 19th century.

Patrick: I know. We all got excited. It’s fine. Do you have a ghost story or?

Clayton: Yeah, I Sure. Boy, good question. So anyway, back to Canada, Vancouver Island.

Patrick: Back to neither of the countries we were talking about for last 5 minutes. Yeah.

Clayton: Let’s see. So now Vancouver became part of Canada in 1871. Before that it was a colony of which country, which of the countries that we’ve talked about today?

Patrick: Russia.

Clayton: Yes. It’s strange because it’s called British Columbia and it was a that was that was a they were they were misdirecting, like if we call this Russian Columbia, the U.S. eventually in the sixties is going to get real mad about this 1960s, not the 1860s. boy.

Patrick: England, England, England, England, England. Yeah, England. And then it became part of how did England so and so England didn’t have Canada. That was Canada. And then but they did have but they did have British Columbia.

Clayton: And it’s a whole thing. They had them, you remember during the Mary Corvo episode.

Patrick: No I don’t the either the.

Clayton: English came in and chased at the French or the French came in chased out the English. I think the English came in, chased out the French in Montreal, just on the other side of the country. Look, man, this is not a history podcast.

Patrick: No, we, we literally just make an educated guess, an educated guess in this role that.

Clayton: So and then Brazil showed up, I think, and they took over the Yukon. It’s weird. Yukon is Spanish for pretty cold. That’s how they got named. Anyway, so I don’t know the answer to a question, but here, so here we have a long way to go. Here we go. So it was British for a while, but the first this is just an interesting, fun fact, not related to the ghost story.

Patrick: Good, Because we’re out of those.

Clayton: We’re just really going for it. Today, the first British explorer to set foot on Vancouver Island was actually Captain James Cook. No. yeah. Are you familiar with Captain James Cook?

Patrick: It’s a pretty simple name, so I could probably guess.

Clayton: He was not a cook.

Patrick: He was not a cook? No, but he was a he. He was famous for killing pirates. yeah. Yeah.

Clayton: Maybe. I know. I can’t say no. You know, I. Well.

Patrick: I know you’re pressed for time so I’m going to assume you’re not going to look at up.

Clayton: So here’s I will tell you. So he’s pretty famous for having been the first European explorer to find Hawaii. Some people say he discovered Hawaii. Now, that’s wrong because there were lots of people living there and he he was the first.

Patrick: White person to see Hawaii, basically. Yeah. Okay.

Clayton: The first person he was the first person to go on vacation.

Patrick: Right?

Clayton: Is Like what happened. Now his stories while we might I think there are some good ghost stories by him, so we might come back to him some time. But in case you aren’t familiar, I do want to add the first. The first native Hawaiians thought that Captain Cook was a God, like a literal God, but over time they were like, Wait a minute, I don’t. This might not be true. I don’t think this guy this guy kind of sucks. I don’t think he might not be the god.

Patrick: This guy is really mean. Let’s not let’s I change my vote and I think he’s put him in the volcano. Actually.

Clayton: Looks like he. He got, like, cut and was bleeding or something and they were like, wait, wait a second. Hold on. Are you not a god?

Patrick: Hang on now.

Clayton: And so there was this whole thing where they found this out. Cook got real mad and he was panicked and he started fighting the Hawaiians. He took the king of king of Hawaii hostage. And the people were like, That’s not okay. And so they stabbed him to death. And then.

Patrick: Well…

Clayton: Yeah. yeah. Into the volcano.

Patrick: Yep, Yep.

Clayton: Actually. So it’s kind of famous. The the rumor is like, the common belief is that they ate him. Now it turns out that’s not true. They did not eat. Captain Cook. What actually happened is they did. They did boil his dead body to make it easier to remove the flesh from his bones. Because in.

Patrick: Right. It’s because he was then lighter to carry. I remember how this episode goes.

Clayton: And then you got to go all the way up the volcano. Put him. In a backpack that. Will make him really light. But they did. But they didn’t eat him. So if you’re ever here, like, they ate Captain Cook, that’s not true. They just boiled him until his skin fell from his bones.

Patrick: Yeah.

Clayton: They rode him on a horse. Was it across. Across. England and dropped all the bones everywhere. And and because of their ceremonial traditions, they wrapped up his hands and his buttocks in a ceremonial cloth and then presented them to his men. And there was a reason for this, like the owners, but they were like, This is a thing of honor. And the men were fucking horrified.

Patrick: I mean, these. Are all the men that have been, like, smelling this delicious dew for the last 12 hours. They’re like, God, I can’t wait for them. Bring on a cup of that’s not so fucking good. And they’re like, what’s this, like weird cheesecloth they’re bringing this? Is this like, it’s like cornbread or hors d’oeuvres and like. that’s that’s the captain’s butt, man. That’s all. butt

Clayton: But I know that. But anyway, that’s the captain’s. But.

Patrick: And they. Got like, a little pot here. I don’t really want to know what’s in the pot. Please don’t be his dick. No, it’s. His hands on out. What is this?

Clayton: Somehow that’s worse. I don’t know why, but they were like, you ate him. But they didn’t eat him. They just delivered button his goods in a ceremonial show anyway.

Patrick: I mean, does this have anything to do with this podcast or.

Clayton: No, But I do think it’s funny that the Captain Cook really had his ass handed to him. That was a joke I wrote down. Anyway, so he lands on Make you round in 19, Nope. 1858 while it was still a British colony. And this is where the ghost really gets going.

Patrick: Okay.

Clayton: Who sort of Governor James Douglas decides to set aside 200 acres of land for preservation? In 1882, Canada, which is now Canada.

Patrick: Like the 1850s or whatever, they were already like, we need we’ve already fucked up so much of this. I mean,

Clayton: We fucked this so bad.

Patrick: We just pick a corner, pick a corner that we’re not going to fill the trash. That corner. Okay, That corner, we fill the trash.

Clayton: Yeah.

Patrick: Everything else. So trash? Yeah, trash.

Clayton: And that’s how most of the land in Canada was built. It’s all. It’s a floating fuel. Know this weird thing about Canada? It’s. It’s a floating trash pile. Except for this 200 acres of land on Vancouver Island.

Patrick: That’s where they took all the postcard photos. Little tight shots.

Clayton: In 1882, Canada officially established this plot of land as a park, and they named it Beacon Hill Park. Quote, After a pair of masts strategically placed on a hill to act as a beacon and navigational aid to mariners approaching Victoria’s inner harbor. Okay, now here’s what I would say about that. I am not a nautical expert. I am. I’ve always been clear about that. However, I think things know it correct and if I if I do think if you want to make some sort of like marker that’s like don’t don’t, don’t run into us.

Patrick: Right. Yeah.

Clayton: I think the lighthouse is better.

Patrick: no, no.

Clayton: No, no. This light says no. Those masts are going to disappear when it’s dark, so I don’t want told Canadians how to run their country. But this is stupid. This is a dumb plan. Never been enacted, but it seems very lovely. They’re in the park now. Now we’re getting to the ocean. So by the late 1970s.

Patrick: good.

Clayton: Beacon Hill Park was a pretty popular recreational spot and one day a man was was going for a walk through the park when he saw a woman standing on top of a rock at one corner of the park, the corner near Douglas Street in Southgate Street.

Patrick: There were streets in the park.

Clayton: No there’s streets outside the park.

Patrick: Okay. Okay, okay, okay.

Clayton: This is the one near Douglas Street in Southgate Street.

Patrick: Okay. Okay.

Clayton: She’s staying on this rock. It’s a big rock. It’s not like she’s standing on like a pebble just to me. Just so we’re clear, It’s a big, big boulder.

Patrick: She’s a regular sized woman.

Clayton: She’s a regular human person standing, because you could go stand on top of a piece of gravel. That is going to be clear. This is a big rock. Okay? Climbed up a big rock. Okay, I’m setting. I’m just making sure.

Patrick: Okay. Would that be a better, like, beacon for boats and stuff? Would be a woman.

Clayton: Wouldn’t be worse.

Patrick: Than me standing in a big rally.

Clayton: She can scream like, Now you’re too close.

Patrick: Make a left at the screaming woman. The louder she screams, the more you slow the boat down.

Clayton: When she starts waving your hands frantically. It’s too late for you. Yeah, I’m very sorry. So she’s on the rocks, is she? And this guy is walking past and he notices to kind of particularly interesting things about this woman. Number one is that she had a really had a dark complexion and blond hair. Because it’s sort of an uncommon combination.

Patrick: Maybe she’s tanning, you know.

Clayton: Yes. I mean, in Canada, I there’s no reason to.

Patrick: But West Coast, you know.

Clayton: That’s true.

Patrick: That’s true. I mean, I there’s a there’s there’s a there’s a lot of there’s a lot of them types that’s just goes there. You know.

Clayton: This is the seventies. And I’d like to know if anyone could account for Farrah Fawcett’s whereabouts on this day.

Patrick: Man.

Clayton: Could be so so that was number one. Number two, the second thing he noticed was she looked like she was screaming, now she’s not screaming. Be very clear about that. She’s not screaming, but she looks like she’s screaming. Can you show me with your face? What do you what is a scream look like? Don’t scream.

Patrick: Right. I still have people in the house right now.

Clayton: Yeah, like. Like it’s like that. That’s pretty good. That’s like a. Scream. Yeah.

Patrick: Yeah. Okay, well, you.

Clayton: Can check out a YouTube video, everyone, to see what Patrick scream singing face for me. I think. Okay, that’s pretty good. You good, right? Thanks.

Patrick: Yeah. You got to like the. Like the. Like the eyes.

Clayton: Yeah, right. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, that’s. I think so.

Patrick: So she was doing that like, face.

Clayton: Essentially her mouth is open. Her face look, it’s contorted. She looks like she’s screaming. There’s no sense. She’s completely silent. She looks like she’s screaming and that she was.

Patrick: She, like, screaming for, like. For for like, for a row boat. It’s going to, like boat. It’s getting too close. So what’s going on here?

Clayton: It I it’s very quiet. Both, though. It’s a rowboat. She wants to match that energy.

Patrick: This is why you got replaced. With the mast. Okay.

Clayton: Now it all makes sense. Okay. Okay.

Patrick: I said when the boats come close, you scream and you keep doing this silly thing with the face. Boats keep running into the ground.

Clayton: This is what we try to get Maple to do, is to scream silently. And sometimes it works. But like 3% of the time.

Patrick: Wait what. what Is the scenario here exactly like this?

Clayton: There’s just.

Patrick: Screaming. Screaming too often right now.

Clayton: Yeah, yeah. You’re screaming too loud. It’s too loud. You can’t scream right now. So be like, I know you’re frustrated and you’re trying to vent your frustrations. You know. Here’s an option. If it’s interesting to you, here’s an option. You could just scream, sound like this. You know, you do that. And then sometimes she does that. but then it’s also we and you’re like, looking at this child who should be screaming, right? Who’s in the silent screaming. And there’s something very, very jarring.

Patrick: Yeah That is what the backyard is for to see, you know? And if you want to scream into screaming backyard.

Clayton: Go into the neighbor’s yard and just go to town. Anyway, so she’s not screaming, but so this is Guy Walk is like this is. This is pretty weird. Now, he was in the park to meet some of his friends, so he goes over to where they are. He tells them about this woman who’s standing on the rock and sort of screaming. And they’re, of course, like we want to see. And so they all go back to the rock and she’s still there. still is, yes. And she’s still making Screaming face. It’s still totally silent.

Patrick: Okay. Yeah. Belched a little bit. There’s something up my mouth.

Clayton: It’s like several times in a row. And. Yeah, I know.

Patrick: I thought we were going to do it in sync.

Clayton: Yeah, I know. You’re not waiting for me. Yeah, it’s really hurtful.

Patrick: This is 1970s, right? 1970s? Yeah. Somebody has to have, like, a like a Polaroid camera on them, right?

Clayton: I would think so, Yeah. Yeah. Also, this is probably like performance art from this woman that’s big in the seventies.

Patrick: Yeah, Yeah.

Clayton: I mean, she’s. She’s doing a protest or something.

Patrick: Yeah. Yeah. She put. Yeah, like you see, you.

Clayton: Well, so. So they tried talking to her, but she doesn’t respond.

Patrick: Right. she’s still mid silence..

Clayton: Yeah, she’s busy

Patrick: She’s like she’s busy.

Clayton: Can’t break that. They get a little weirded out and they leave because she’s not engaging with them. So like, okay, bye. And then people start seeing this woman every single day. Same rock, same rock, same woman, same face. Look. It’s always the same. And people, everyone who sees her is. Like, this is really strange. Like there are newspaper articles about this woman because everyone is like, What’s this woman’s deal?

Patrick: Yeah.

Clayton: Now she’s not committing a crime. She’s just standing on a rock and and not screaming. She can’t arrest someone for that. What is this, America? So. So you just kind of leave her alone. And after a few weeks, she stops showing up. He’s not there anymore. Must have got a lot. Going on.

Patrick: Then they all start to forget about her.

Clayton: But then. Well, five years later. 1983, which I have to say is a great year for babies.

Patrick: Great big babies.

Clayton: Great big, massive babies. Big babies. Do you know when I was born, they told my mother, I think we’re gonna have to break his shoulders to get him. He didn’t. And I appreciate. That, but, That was. That was probably the first. The first indication that I would grow up to be six and a half feet tall.

Patrick: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Clayton: Too big. I’ll say it. I’m fine too. I’m comfortable with that. Too big.

Patrick: We have terrible, terrible news about your son. And she’s like The shoulders back. No, no, no, no. I’m sorry. He doesn’t have improved energy. I’m very. Sorry. He’s. He just is. It’s like he’s. It’s like he’s crying off of a script. It’s. I can predict everything he says. I’m very sorry.

Clayton: I know exactly when he’s going to stop crying. I know exactly who he’s going to start up again. my. Gosh. It’s.

Patrick: So. And. and we are breaking his shoulders.

Clayton: Sorry. I.

Patrick: no.

Clayton: He will not improv. We hate talented entertainment I wonder how many. We’re going to find out real quick how many listeners will do improv. This. Week. Anyway. So 1983, five years or so later, another woman is seems standing on top of the same rock. Okay. She behaved exactly like the first woman. And.

Half a decade ago. Right? So this time, five years of nothing and then different woman on top the rock. She’s on the same rock every single day. She’s got her mouth open like she’s screaming the same deal. But there are two important differences between this woman and the original woman. Her one. The original woman had a dark complexion and blond hair. This woman has very dark hair and very pale skin.

Patrick: Very blonde complexion.

Clayton: Very blonde complexion. Yes. That is what they call it. She’s totally opposite. And to the other thing that was surprising about this woman and different about this woman, she was very clearly a ghost and that through people, they were like, this is surprising. She was described in articles at the time as, quote, misty, vaporous and not corporeal. There’s a ghost now on this rock.

Patrick: Okay.

Clayton: What? I know. So here’s the deal. So what you what you did here was you unmuted to say, okay, right. And then you left it unmuted while the toilet ran.

Patrick: I don’t really know what to do at that point, really. I mean, it.

Clayton: Did come at a pretty awkward time. I’m so this is the ghost. Of. I have caught on to that but this is a ghost. And so now people are walking past this rock and they’re freaking out because they see a woman standing on top of the rock. But you can see through her. It’s like the ring girl brushed her hair back and then opened her mouth and was quiet. Yeah, this is what this looks like.

Patrick: In in multiple people. People are seeing this independent people every day.

Clayton: Every single day. Okay. For hours at a time.

Patrick: Okay. 1983.

Clayton: 1983.

Patrick: Right.

Clayton: The year of our Lord,

Patrick: right? and cameras exist.

Clayton Yes.

Patrick: Video cameras exist.

Clayton: Yeah.

Patrick: NBC exists.

Clayton: Probably.

Patrick: Right. Okay. Yeah. We’re just like a couple of years away from what, MySpace existing.

Clayton: All right. A couple is hard, but.

Patrick: Okay, so we’re like, we’re okay. We’re a few years away from.

Clayton: I would say Tom is probably born now.

Patrick: Tom’s absolutely born. Yeah. Yeah.

Clayton: You know, MySpace, Tom.

Patrick: I would hope Tom is born. Tom has to be older than us. Please let me. Yeah.

Clayton: Boy, man, he must be what? He was.

Patrick: Born. Yeah.

Clayton: Anything else?

Patrick: I mean, like.

Clayton: Just, like, naming things that were. That existed. 1983. Thank you. Let’s move.

Patrick: On. I’m waiting for you to pop in with, like. Like a crystal clear photo taken by one of the hundreds of people that have seen this. This this Misty woman.

Clayton: You know, here’s what I will  tell you, it didn’t occur to me to look for that. But I’ll I’ll Google right now.

Patrick: Didn’t occur to you to look for a photo. No photo of the ghost seen by hundreds of people in 1983.

Clayton: Yeah, it’s Canada. Like they don’t care. They’re here. And actually, I wouldn’t I wouldn’t I wouldn’t bet with my life that they had cameras in Canada in 1980.

Patrick: That’s true. Yeah. Is there like a like a like a like a woodcarving of the the misty woman. Yes.

Clayton: I’ll send you that later on.

Patrick: On a piece of cedar.

Clayton: Yes, yes, yes, of course. And it’s it’s a family heirloom that there’s a family up there who now uses it to grill trout every. Every week.

Patrick: It’s a doorstop in the winter.

Clayton: Yeah. So anyway people are freaking out and she’s on top of the rock every morning for weeks for weeks. okay

Patrick:  Sure.

Clayton: Now, Pat, let me ask you, what do you know about doppelgangers?

Patrick: What do I know about doppelgangers?  they are? They’re eerie, right? They are. You know, they are. They’re eerie. I mean, they’re. They are.

Clayton: That’s how you describe a doppelganger. You would say an eerie thing.

Patrick: Wait do we need to define doppelganger.

Clayton: Well, you know, you have to, but I’m about to if you don’t.

Patrick: So doppelganger is a person looks eerily like oneself. And perhaps could be considered a nemesis of one’s self.

Clayton: good, good, good. All right, so you’ve done some you’ve done some research on this, and probably I’m going to guess the Simpson or The Simpsons, Seinfeld, when they do the I probably also Simpson.

Patrick: I mean, I just know what words mean. That’s kind of like that’s sort of where I’m kind of.

Clayton: Like Seinfeld episode where they.

Patrick: Yes. Yeah, they’re the full doppelganger. Yeah. Yeah. There’s also a there’s just in case anybody out here is a fan, there’s also a Barbie life in the Dream House episode that’s closely mirrors that.

Clayton: Oh boy. So, okay.

Patrick: Please.

Clayton: Not doing the vibe?

Patrick: No, no, no, no. I assure you, I think once you once you get to that level, once you get to that age, that will be one of those one of those shows. You’re like, okay, good. This is one of the three shows you get to watch. This will be this one will be okay.

Clayton: Yeah, it’s awesome.

Patrick: It’s also Thank you. It’s quite good.

Clayton: Okay. Okay. All right. Okay. Anyway, so yes. So doppelganger is basically a person’s double. Usually some nefarious associations with seeing your doppelganger. In Norse mythology, I didn’t know this doppelganger is called a var digger, which it may or may not be how you pronounce it. And it quote, precedes the person performing the tasks they are soon to do ahead of them. which is interesting.

Patrick: But what if you’re the other person?

Clayton: Excuse me?

Patrick: Well, what if. I mean, what if you’re the other person? Would you just be doing things that the other person will do soon?

Clayton: If you are the doppelganger.

Patrick: Right? Yep. Like, I mean, both people thing. Both people are like, that’s the point of doppelgangers. Both people are the doppelgangers, right?

Clayton: What would be like? Both people are the double. I see what you’re saying. You’re saying you’re saying these are two humans who exist who are just differ from each other and just happened to look very similar.

Patrick: Yes. Yeah

Clayton: that’s where you are. See, now see, you’re thinking of this. All right. I see what you’re saying. no, that’s wrong.

Patrick: You see? Is like, is it really, like.

Clayton: Changeling style?

Patrick: Okay, Yeah, like every unidirectional thing that’s like, the other.

Clayton: I doppelganger. My doppelganger is evil and is not a human person.

Patrick: Right? Right. My doppelganger does not, like, look over their shoulder. fuck my doppelganger. No, that’s not how you look.

Clayton: Yeah, it’s. It’s not. That’s because that’s called a parent trap. Okay, See, I’m saying.

Patrick: Yeah, I appreciate you bringing back different energy.

Clayton: So, Gosh. So, yeah. So in many cultures, the idea of a doppelganger is a pretty dangerous one. As you have alluded to, Doppelganger is a harbinger of your own death cultures. which basically means if you see one, your life is about to become a final destination movie because death is coming for you. Interesting. And I can’t imagine this is why it’s you know, it’s, you know, directly it has to be because you can’t both be like, fuck, if only we had turned our heads differently, that one. Second we would have. But now shoot.

Patrick: It almost seems like a like a like a déja vu thing. Like you’ve heard the theory that déja vu is just remembering something backwards.

Clayton: Ah no.

Patrick: That Well, so. So.

Clayton: But it does makes Now that you say it, it makes a lot of sense.

Patrick: So the theory I’m a who’s who came up with this, but the thought is that déja vu is just your brain getting confused and remembering something, but really just getting things backwards in it’s memory. Like I’m remembering something, but it’s actually something. It’s happening right now. But my brain thought that happened sometime ago. So like the doppelganger, you look at the doppelganger doing something that you will be doing, right, Right. Soon enough.

Clayton: Yeah.

Patrick: So that’s kind of the.

Clayton: End of the thing you’re always going to be doing is dying. You can see where that would be problematic.

Patrick: Like you find your doppelganger and they’re digging a grave and you’re like, That seems like a bad sign. It seems like. Gives you double. Yeah. I’m sorry. Go on.

Clayton: I was. If I saw my doppelganger digging a grave, I would think, that’s for someone else. That’s not for me. I’m about to be in trouble soon, but not like mortal trouble. So it could be worse.

Patrick: Like if you see your doppelganger and they’re like, I don’t know, like signing the paperwork for a mortgage, you know, like, good for them. You know, like, that’s my doppelganger. It’s like.

Clayton: With Interest rates like this! No! God what an old person joke. So anyways, so they’re considered very out. It’s and and quite a few people throughout history have claimed to see their doppelganger not long before their deaths. Among them, Queen Elizabeth. The first apparently saw her doppelganger lying in her bed shortly before she died. something that’s a doppelganger.

Patrick: That’s just like. Like, like a vision, you know.

Clayton: It’s. Or is it a reverse ghost?

Patrick: Okay. Yeah. Like, okay. Okay. You think you’re, like, you’re looking a little bit into the future. Just a few moments in the future.

Clayton: Yeah. And it’s the ghost. The ghost, the time of this wrong. And that’s their felt right. You’re like, you did see it.

Patrick: Like you’re walking in the kitchen. Like, why is my doppelganger have their hand caught in the garbage disposal? has nothing to do with me.

Clayton: I’m so glad I have two working hands. Yeah, it’s like. That is a.

Patrick: Is there a More distressing then to come home to. You walk in the front door, you see yourself with you, see yourself. But can you fucking help me? I will explain everything, I promise. But please.

Clayton: I know what these looks like.

Patrick: Get the little wrench from the basement. It is on my bench.

Clayton: Please. Yeah. So you get it?

Patrick: yeah, totally. Yeah.

Clayton: It’s so. So Queen Elizabeth’s first death. You’ll see yours before your death, I assume. Got it also. And I. I. I want to tell you, I hate. This is about to happen. I hate it with every fucking fiber of my being. But also, you may recall that. Abraham Lincoln’s saw his doppelganger in a mirror. Not too long before .

Patrick: Oh my God. He was probably So confused. So it was like Honest Abe, where’s your shirt? Did you lose it down the garbage disposal? Is that. Would I sing this? Not three.

Clayton: Days after I just yelled at. You for the last. Make it every. And it’s like, Come on. But it’s too late to start researching something else. and if you want to see two grown men crying, join. our YouTube So that happened like, now, Some doppelganger experts. Which is a job say that doppelgangers actually appear as photo negative versions of the original person.

Patrick: Hence the blond hair.

Clayton: Is important for our story. Yes. And one thing people notice about the woman with pale skin and dark hair is that she did look very much like the woman they had all seen a few years earlier. That’s the reverse of her.

Patrick: Interesting. Yes. Okay.

Clayton: With all that context finally laid out, here’s where we get to the story. On June 3rd of 1983, day, a man named Dave Robertson called the police because his common law wife was missing and her name was Donna Mitchell. Now, Donna was a 31 year old woman from Victoria. And, and Dave had called to report her missing because she had failed to show up for her daughter.

Natasha’s seventh birthday party is a very big red flag. Yeah. So the police there gathering information, and Dave tells them that, okay, so she is a recreational drug user, so, you know, and they’re like, well, you know, so yeah. He puts. Out there, but he’s like, I know, I know. It sounds like. But I’m telling you, she would not miss her daughter’s birthday like something is wrong. Because even though, like, absolutely not, there’s no way. So he’s and he’s also worried because either earlier that day or the day before, she had gone to a doctor’s appointment because of, quote, some sort of internal bleeding. So.

Patrick: Okay.

Clayton: Yeah. So, you know, end of details about that malady. This is I mean, so. It’s it’s a concern. It’s these are these are all concerning things.

Patrick: Yeah. So he has a lot of concern and sort of sounds like. Correct. Yes. That’s a lot of things to be concerned.

Clayton: Very valid concerns. And so the police, they were like, okay, we will investigate. Well, we’ll take a look. So they start investigating and they they talked to a waiter at the Old Kings Hotel on Eighth Street. And the waiter saw her the night before having drinks with friends. And then so they follow this trail. And the last place she was seen that evening was outside a place called Romeo’s Place near the Empress Hotel. Now, these places mean nothing to me but I do. I do like to include them here to make sure you know that this is a real story. But the real police report, the real news stories. Just in case everyone’s like these ghost stories aren’t aren’t on the Internet. They are.

Patrick: They are.

Clayton: Right? So Donna’s trail. So that’s all that. That’s what they learn. But her trail goes cold after that. And so they have no luck. They, they, they, they have no leads. They don’t know what happened to her. She’s just gone. And they have no leads for almost six months. goodness. December 15th of 1983.

Patrick: Holy cow.

Clayton: When police found a body buried under about a foot of dirt. So very shallowly, buried in a corner of Beacon Hill Park near the corner of Douglas Street and Southgate Street.

Patrick: my goodness.

Clayton: This body was pretty badly decomposed at this point.

Patrick: Yeah.

Clayton: But they performed some forensic tests and they determined that the body was, in fact, the body of Donna Mitchell. They determined she had been strangled to death somewhere else in the city. And then her body was dumped and kind of hidden in the park. So they published a story about this in the local paper. And they include a photo of Donna.

Patrick: Is it is the screaming lady? Did she if she’d done for the year got good?

Clayton: That’s a good question. I think at this point she’s about to wrap up.

Patrick: Okay. Okay. I know if it was like it was like a like Renaissance fair, they kind of do. Like in what way? In that they you know, they kind of close up shop once the weather gets cold.

Clayton: So you think the ghost is like too cold but I will be back in the spring?

Patrick: Basically. Yeah. Yeah.

Clayton: Maybe. Maybe

Patrick: Come back. You know, tickets are half price if you bring canned goods. And, We will see after after Memorial Day.

Clayton: The ren fair is a weird analogy. That’s a that’s an interesting. It’s interesting.

Patrick: I see. It’s only a seasonal thing. I know about it, really.

Clayton: I know. Okay. The only. Okay, okay.

Patrick: See, it’s seasonal, it’s outdoors. It’s a lot of women screaming, so I don’t really know.

Clayton: Okay, well, it does make some more sense. Thank you for. Taking. Thank you for walking me through that. So, see. Gosh. So they. They. They said the ghost is about to stop appearing because they published a story in the paper. They post a photo of Donna. She has long, dark hair and a very pale complexion.

Patrick: Unlike most Canadians, I’m just kind of just conjecturing here.

Clayton: I would. Okay. I guess based on those two things. It’s. We could have said, yes, she’s Canadian. I don’t know.

Patrick: She’s got dark hair, light skin and is silently screaming all day long. Unlike all other Canadian. Women.

Clayton: who love. Being here and feel comfortable expressing it, the people are seeing the photo in the paper and they’re  like, Holy shit, That’s. That’s the.

Patrick: Ghost. That’s her.

Clayton: Yeah, that’s her. It’s. It’s hundred percent her. It’s So she had started appearing in the summer and about the time when.

Patrick: She was.

Clayton: And then disappeared after they found the body sort of. So she’s just being seen every day.

Patrick: So now, now, now it’s time for a test now to strangle another woman.

Clayton: Well, if the scientific method has taught us anything, it’s that it’s time to strangle another woman, I think. Yeah. Yes. Now you’re going to have to have the same person do it, because maybe it was the murderer who was like the figure.

Patrick: We’re going to have to run a lot of tests. But Canada’s a big place

Clayton: Group of not murder. Got to be the a group.

Patrick: Some of the people we don’t murder. Some of the people.

Clayton: We do murder. Yes.

Patrick: Yeah.

Clayton: Yeah.

Patrick: Some. we murder a horse. I mean, see what happens. I don’t know. You know.

Clayton: It’s going to be fun, though. Gonna be fun.

Patrick: Standing atop Beacon Hill this week, a. Horse silently. Screaming its hair Blond is the morning sun.

Clayton: Now can you please show us what a screaming horse face looks like? I am so sorry. I asked. Okay, friends, don’t. Don’t check us out on YouTube, but.

Patrick: No, seriously, you shouldn’t.

Clayton: You don’t need to see what? I just laughed. But I did literally ask for it. And I accept that that’s a burden I have to carry. And deep, deep, deep, deep. Boy, the girl said. The girls, the blond, the photo. Yeah. So Donna’s doppelganger had shown up the best anyone could tell as a harbinger of death in the same place where she would eventually, five years later, be buried. So if people had.

Patrick: It’s a  shame, nobody told her because some people have been.

Clayton: Better scholars, I think is the problem here. If people read a fucking book, you would know like this is definitely a harbinger of death.

Patrick: Yeah. What else would it be?

Clayton: This is. So funny. You know, like, I. It’s not funny. I shouldn’t say it. So, you know, it’s just like. It’s such like a like a doppelganger. It’s just a ghost thing to be like, I’m going to warn you. I’m not going to tell you what I’m warning you about. Like any fucking hints, my presence here should be enough. It’s like it’s not. It’s not enough.

Patrick: Just to send a letter. Like it’s just send a letter in.

Clayton: Just send a letter. Text. I got a phone. Text me. You know. Anyway, as for Donna’s actual murder case, the police did track down a suspect, and they were feeling pretty good about it. Some guy in Vancouver. But before that. And, gosh, so the the police on Vancouver Island radioed over to Vancouver and they were like, hey, we’re just, you know, we’re coming over to your city, We’re invading your territory, right? And we’re going to make an arrest because we we’re pretty sure we got the guy who did this.

Patrick: Thing and they were like, this is Vancouver police saying, no, no, we’re Vancouver police. No, no, no, no, no, no.

Clayton: I’m confused.

Patrick: I’m Vancouver Police.

Clayton: Ted is this you. Oh Ted

Patrick: Know, we’re both but a.

Clayton: Jokester. No, this is a Vancouver police. No, I know. We’re Vancouver police. come on. So that went on for 3 hours, and that was just enough time for the.

Patrick: Killer to escape.

Clayton: For the killer to, well, actually hang himself.

Patrick: Oh, that’s a shame.

Clayton: Yeah, So. So technically. So they don’t you know, they obviously never got to question him, so they don’t know for sure. But the suspect did hang himself, and now that case is forever cold. But to this day, now, people every once in a while, not every day like it used to be back in the cool eighties. Every once in a while you will see the ghost of Donna Mitchell on the Rock in Beacon Hill, and she still always has her mouth open as if she is screaming. But she is completely silent.

Patrick: Wow. Who? Goodness gracious. Yeah.

Clayton: And that is a story of, gosh, I don’t even know what to call this one. The doppelganger of Beacon. The Doppelganger Ghost. There’s a lot of layers here.

Patrick: Yeah.

Clayton: What’s the best for SEO? What do you think?

Patrick: You’re not going to like it.

Clayton: Justin Bieber Blackpink K-Pop ghost. Tell me your thing.

Patrick: Ten Most Graphic. Abraham Lincoln Garbage disposal accidents

Clayton: Right? I hate it.

Patrick: I So you can try it if you want, but you on this podcast. Okay.

Clayton: Well let Jen decide, YouTube. And that’s kind of where we’re like, testing. This is.

Patrick: Hashtag.

Clayton: this. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Jen Let US know what you think we should titles and well, we’ll go with your recommendation and that is the story of that so I don’t know any thoughts we think good episode bad.

Patrick: So I would Yeah I’d say any, any anything. We have to pause the episode because we can’t stop crying. We’re probably in pretty good shape.

Clayton: So is this the first one? We I think this is the first episode where we both are crying tears.

Patrick: Well, first of many. Okay.

Clayton: So is this a ghost is brought to you by Smith Show Productions. That’s a good one. Let’s do that. The the it’s it the outline is for I don’t know it’s everything is is prepared sort of by me Clayton Smith all.

Patrick: The written down shit is Clayton.

Clayton: All the written down shit is me. I don’t do improv all. The good improv is from Patrick Dean. Our audio engineer is Jeremy Montoya. Our video editor is Jennifer Swanson. Patrick, what do you think.

Patrick: They both got a pretty tough road test this week, to be honest.

Clayton: It’s a hard it’s a hard day.

Patrick: Our day. Really sorry, guys, and sorry for your families as well, because they’re not going to see either of you for the next three days.

Clayton: That’s correct. Because I like it. I don’t know. It’s fine. Maybe it’s fine. Someone go feed Jennifer’s cats. Jen has Cats. Someone please feed them. She’s too busy. And we will see you here next week. As always on is is this ghost?  Let’s do the intro. Sure. Hang. We’ll, wait until. Your toilet. Is done

Patrick: That was just as toothbrushing. That’s not a big deal. That’s toothbrushing. There will be. Yeah, there will be a toilet right afterwards, though.

Clayton: There’s some, like, plumbing happening in your house.

Patrick: The pipe. The pipe that goes upstairs. It supplies. That is.

Clayton: I see. I see the problem. I see the problem. I thank you for sharing that. You need a podcast studio.

Patrick: I do need a podcast studio. And I think I am going to put it in like the next town over. Probably, you know?

Clayton: Yeah, we just burp at the same time.

Patrick: my gosh, we do even need a clap anymore. Really?

Clayton: It’s. We are a pair

Patrick: Jeremy is going to be like You left a weird audio marker where you both belched at the same time of the five minute mark that’s sometimes supposed to leave in or.

Clayton: We are sinking up our cycles. One thing. Are we waiting for your toilet to maybe flush or we just go.

Patrick: It’s going to be fine? Fuck it. I don’t care. It’s Jeremy’s problem. He’s got it. I’m sure he’s got a filter. Figured he’s got, like, he’s got some, like, like custom filter He’s written just for toilet flushing.

Clayton: Frequent, I bet so. I bet. I bet that’s the thing that exists. Okay, great.

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