Transcript 72: The Bannister Doll
Patrick: Is This a Ghost is sponsored by Pinckney Band. Clayton, I’ve a question for you.
Clayton: I can’t wait.
Patrick: Were you listening last week?
Clayton: No.
Patrick: How involved were you last week?
Clayton: 20%.
Patrick: I don’t watch the video very much. So. I’ve got a lot of things up on the screen right now so I couldn’t tell how close you’re paying attention.
Clayton: But I read from a script, so, I pay almost no attention to you and your words. It’s all it’s all notes for me, friend. So I…
Patrick: Just waiting for the silence. And then I come right back in.
Clayton: I leave some gaps, and sometimes you fill them, sometimes not. And that’s my. That’s. That’s the extent of my, my paying attention. Why do you ask?
Patrick: I was wondering if maybe you noticed last week you gave me a challenge, right? You challenged me to determine what was in Pinckney Bend’s classic FloraDora cocktail.
Clayton: Well, as I recall, I think you offered to suggest.
Patrick: I was just filling time. I really don’t know. I think that was yeah, that was as a mutually beneficial decision. So I figured this week it might be fun if I, you know, turned the tables on you and challenged you to identify the ingredients of a classic Pinckney Bend cocktail.
Clayton: I was wondering when you did the intro this time, because I think this is the first time you’ve ever controlled the ad.
Patrick: It is, yeah, did I do it right? I blacked out a little bit.
Clayton: It’s fine. Okay. B, B-minus. But yeah, go on. It’s fine. Jeremy will fix it in post.
Patrick: So I am going to see how accurate you can get on one of. I’m gonna give you the base. I’ll give you the base liquor. I think that’s fair. Because there’s like, 1500 recipes on here.
Clayton: Is it saltwater?
Patrick: Don’t jump ahead, please. The base liquor, the base liquor here is the Navy Strength Gin.
Clayton:
Oh, f*%$
Patrick:
That guy right here. Oh, God.
Clayton:
He is a beauty.
Patrick:
Absolute danger. Okay, That’s your base liquor. And the name of the cocktail is the Pall Mall.
Clayton:
The Pall Mall?
Patrick:
Like the. You know, like the. Oh, yes.
Clayton:
Well, don’t go. Don’t. Yeah. Okay, thanks. That’s where I’m going. Okay.
Patrick:
I’m giving you spelling to spell it for you. Just so you know, I think it’s like a mall. Yeah, you’re like a mall where only Pauls go. It’s not that. Yeah. So just the mall for Paul.
Clayton:
The mall. It’s all for pallbearers. It’s like if you’re having a funeral, this is the. This is the place you want to shop like.
Patrick:
Oh, I mean, we got to bury grandma, but only like two people, really. Like, there. Well, you know where you got to stop on the way over then, I guess. But.
Clayton:
But I do need some nice socks and a new shirt for Christmas. Can we stop there first?
Patrick:
And for strapping young lads.
Clayton:
Okay. Pall Mall. So the base liquor, I’m going to guess, is probably their Navy strength gin that makes sense to me.
Patrick:
Yeah, that was good.
Clayton:
So I.
Patrick:
Could. You just barely, barely know that one.
Clayton:
Next is cigarettes? It’s got to be cigarettes and not just cigarettes. And it doesn’t have to be Pall Mall Cigarettes. It could be any cigarettes but it has to be used cigarettes that you then you put out in the drink. So you let them. You smoke them for a while. You’re done. Then you go into the drink.
Clayton:
Okay? That’s you need three of those.
Patrick:
What kind of. Okay.
Clayton:
Obviously.
Patrick:
Come on, you’re close. You’re close. Look at what kind of attitude do you put the cigarettes out with? You can’t just, like, put a cigarette lightly. Yeah. What’s the attitude there?
Clayton:
I think there are two options. I think the most powerful one, the one that’s going to be the best cocktail is going to be the kind of eye-rolling. Like, you’re so stupid. Mm hmm. That’s number one. But the second one is a furious tone like. Yeah, absolute. Just such anger. And you stab it a few times. Now, the reason that’s not going to be as good a cocktail is because the ash is going to mix.
Clayton:
It’s going to it’s going to agitate it away already rancid too.
Patrick:
It’s already rancid.
Clayton:
Yeah. And it’s it’s too agitated. And that’s as you are when you’re doing that. So that’s why it’s not like the ideal, but it’s also acceptable depending on your which part of the country you’re in, I think there’s a difference. Okay, So it’s those say so it’s a gin, it’s cigarettes. Pall Mall obviously preferred Lucky Strike is also great for this.
Patrick:
Let me check check out. Yes. Okay. Going. Yup. Okay.
Clayton:
So those are your base layers. Gosh, what else are you going to have? You are going to have something that’s 300 proof. Not a lot of good, but, um, like a dash of a dash of literal gasoline I think. Okay is in this because if you’re you’re putting these cigarettes out it’s a it’s a and you want and I want to be clear, you won’t do the cigarettes first because you know, the higher proof this drink gets, the more dangerous that becomes. So you’re going to do you’re going to do cigarette actually first in the glass, then Pickney Bend.
Patrick:
Oh yeah, so you’re mulling it.
Clayton:
Muddling. Yeah, you got to do it.
Patrick:
Okay.
Clayton:
Yeah. You’re you’re muddling and then you’re doing that. And then to the gin and then just a dash of gasoline. Not too much. You don’t consume too much of that. It’s dangerous for you, but it’s going to give you a little bit of like a soupçon of of that. So that’s good. So you want that. You are going to want to cut it with.
Clayton:
I think, lemon juice. I think it’s nice. Kind of like
Patrick:
I’m sorry. No, sorry. Creme de menthe. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry. Everything else. dead nuts.
Clayton:
Dead nuts. Got it. Right. Okay. Okay, okay.
Patrick:
Always next week.
Clayton:
You know, next week we’ll try again.
Patrick:
Yeah.
Clayton:
Okay. So if you want to drink that, you can.
Clayton:
Oh, sorry. This is your ad. You. This is your thing to do.
Patrick:
Go ahead, sir. So are you. So if you would like to try Clayton’s attempt at the Pall Mall, well, you can most likely just make it from things you have around the house. Assuming you stop off at Pinckney Bend’s beautiful distillery in New Haven, Missouri. And it has been on bottle of Navy Strength Gin and maybe stop off at the at the BP and get you’re your gasolione.
Clayton:
Dad can tell you by the way, if you don’t get the Navy Strength Gin, you get the regular gin, which is also delicious, you are going to need to double your gasoline intake.
Patrick:
Okay. All right. It’s just a it’s like baking. It’s all proportioned. Correct. That’s that’s a make sense.
Patrick:
Visit our friends at pickneybend.com maybe a www in front of it. But that’s, that’s how you that’s how you get there. And if they don’t currently sell Navy strength gin in your state or province or you know cell block then just you know write a really nice letter maybe you get to write a couple letters a month if you’re good and make sure one of them is destined for Tara.
Patrick:
She loves getting letters.
Clayton:
Yes, she does. And if that doesn’t work, just siphon more gas. So the gasoline is the the important part.
Patrick:
Yes. Yeah.
Clayton:
So it’s like the less the less Navy Strength Gin you have, the more gasoline you need. And that’s going to that’ll do it for you. No problems.
Hello, everybody. Welcome back to. Is this a ghost? My name is Clayton Smith, and every week I tell a real ghost story from real history to my real friend Patrick Dean, who doesn’t take it real seriously yet.
Two in a row. That’s two in a row, my friend.
Patrick:
I have a pen this week too. I know. It’s great.
Clayton:
I dropped it.
Patrick:
It’s only one.
Clayton:
I’m so thrown off. It’s nice to have a pen. Right.
Patrick:
It so is.
Clayton:
Like Letterman, who was always like during a period.
Patrick:
Yup.
Clayton:
It’s good. It’s good. If you’re on YouTube right now, you’re going to love this.
Patrick:
Yeah, I think was the older Bush.
Clayton:
Oh, that was a pen in Bob Dole. No, Bob.
Patrick:
Dole. You’re right. It was because he had.
Clayton:
An he had a hand thing, I think. Right.
Patrick:
He was like, it didn’t work.
Clayton:
An injury. Yes. Yes. That’s the shorthand for it.
Patrick:
Yeah.
Clayton:
But anyway, this is a this is a podcast where we talk about ghost stories and what happens.
Patrick:
We both have red pens.
Clayton:
Well, you have a marker, I think. What is this is a marker. It’s a marker. So.
Patrick:
You know, I don’t have anything.
Clayton:
I have look at how many pens I have. I have so many pens here and. And pencils. Would you like to borrow one?
Patrick:
No. Well, hang on, hang on.
Clayton:
You know the red one? Yeah.
Patrick:
Yeah. I mean, the red one when they go.
Patrick:
And you. Got to.
Clayton:
This it is great. So. Gosh. What? Oh, I. Okay, so before we get too deep into the episode, I did want to ask you if there’s something I want to share about my life. Don’t make the face. This is this. Fine. But I was wondering if I could be if I could take a minute to be kind of vulnerable.
And I just wanted to ask you, I guess, is this do you would you say is this like a safe space for me to kind of, you know, to to do that, to be vulnerable and kind of show your time? Okay, good. Thank you.
Patrick:
Thank you.
Clayton:
So as you know and as some listeners know, my my full time job that actually pays me money which is not a podcast is I’m a college professor. And for those of you who are newer to this podcast and whose mouths just fell open in shock. Yes, that’s correct. I am a college professor.
Patrick:
Shaping America’s youth.
Clayton:
I am shaping the future of tomorrow, believe it or not. And I run the marketing degree program at Columbia College. Chicago. So, hey, if you’ve got a college, college, I look forward looking soon to be college student. Your life. I swear this is or I swear I’m an academic. You should send them to Columbia. You. Hey, they can come to my class and I could teach them about marketing and also ghosts, which I think are two subjects that really complement each other.
Anyway, so I am a professor, and this semester we’re five weeks and we’re third of the way in this semester. And I’m for there’s a couple of like scheduling snafus and stuff and it’s insider baseball, but the long and short of it is so I this semester I ended up being scheduled to teach a Friday class on Fridays.
Now at 9 a.m. this semester and now they’ve done it for four weeks is my fifth week. I don’t, I don’t I can’t I can’t go to work on Fridays anymore. I can’t work on Friday. How do people work on Fridays? This is what I want to be vulnerable about. I, I don’t know how people do it. And you have to understand, I have been teaching here for a decade now full time.
I have not worked on a Friday. This is my first Friday class ever. I have not worked on a Friday since 2013. Is that is real. And now I am going into work on Fridays and I am exhausted and I think we should just not allow anyone to work on Fridays. Do you have any thoughts on this?
Patrick:
So normally I would say like, oh, so you’re suggesting a four-day workweek? No, no, that’s not true. Because. Your workweek currently is two days.
Clayton:
Yeah, because I currently don’t teach on Monday and I don’t want to start. So what I want to do, I don’t I just I just don’t. I don’t know. I don’t I don’t know how we’re expected to do it.
And it’s really I find myself this is true. I find myself very exhausted this semester, like very tired because I am teaching for a few hours on a Friday for the first time in ten years, I’m going to a place and doing stuff and I’m not cut out for it. Gosh, say it. I’m not cut out for it.
I thought I used to think I was. I’m not as it is.
Patrick:
I mean, I assume Erin has a lot of sympathy for you. I mean, it’s been like taping embraces, right, for you and stuff.
Clayton:
We don’t talk about it a whole lot.
Patrick:
Like, oh, it’s one of the okay. It’s one of the like I’ve been going down to the OTB on Fridays and she thinks I’m going to work, so I can’t complain now.
Clayton:
No worse. No, no. She knows. She knows. I’m look, when I’m not at work, I am very transparent about the fact that I am napping and I have always.
Patrick:
Been clear and vocal and very loud.
Clayton:
Yeah, I nap loudly. I want her to know. And she knows because most of the time she works from home as well. Her job is, is hybrid. So she, she gets she, she knows and I’m not trying to hide that from her. What I’m saying is napping is what Fridays are for. And if you what I’m learning now is like if you have to work on a Friday.
Patrick:
Mm hmm.
Clayton:
I don’t it’s inhumane. I don’t like it.
Patrick:
When does napping happen?
Clayton:
Right. When does that happen? Exactly. Thank you. Thank you. Exactly. I get a nap on Mondays, so just as my other napping day, sometimes Wednesdays because I don’t just on Wednesdays every semester. But when am I. When else am I napping? Mondays, Wednesdays, Saturdays, Sundays. And when else? This is not sustainable. It’s not sustainable.
Patrick:
Just so I’m clear.
Clayton:
So yeah, go ahead.
Patrick:
Just so I’m clear before this tragedy. Your schedule on Friday consisted of consisted of I would imagine waking up maybe 20 minutes before you need to leave the house. So you.
Clayton:
Sorry, leave the house.
Patrick:
Yeah, well, so you can take both your children to daycare.
Clayton:
Oh, yes. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sometimes. we alternate.
Patrick:
Right? Yeah, but.
Clayton:
They both work really hard, so we alternate every other day. Yeah, that’s right. Yeah.
Patrick:
So you’re so you’re Friday schedule was drop off both your children at daycare come home and then it’s kind of like a gray area until pickup. Is that is that the way it works?
Clayton:
I wouldn’t call it a gray area I would call it nap time.
Patrick:
It’s fairly black and white and that’s fine.
Clayton:
You know, hey, listen.
Patrick:
Let’s make sure listeners are getting the full story.
Clayton:
I do things, I do dishes, I clean the house, I pick up stuff, I do dishes.
Patrick:
You do dishes.
Clayton:
I do things on a Friday, like doing dishes.
Patrick:
Do you like do the neighborhood dishes. What are you talking about?
Clayton:
Well, it doesn’t take the whole Friday, but we don’t have a dishwasher. So it takes. It takes. It takes longer than you would think.
Patrick:
Okay, that’s clear.
Clayton:
We live in a bad house. And so that’s that’s part of that’s first.
Patrick:
Time the dishes are dirty. The moment they go back in the cabin and they’re going to come right back out, it’s I don’t make the rules here.
Clayton:
It’s true. That’s true. So I know some to say. I you know, I recognize that most people work most days of the week. And I. I respect that very much. That’s good. I’m saying is I you know, you spend ten years doing something and then suddenly you’re you’re you’re thrown into something else. It’s I mean, it’s tough. It’s tough.
And I’m I’m so I’m wearing my glasses because my eyes are so tired cause I’ve been exhausted from working on Fridays. It’s we can’t work. You can’t. We can’t do this everybody.
Patrick:
I know.
Clayton:
Everyone. Let’s all unionize together. You can’t work on Fridays or Mondays or in my case, Wednesdays. You can’t do it on Tuesdays and Thursdays. That’s the time every other day. No, I’m putting my foot down.
Patrick:
I’m trying to figure out like, which color little ribbon pin you’re going to get for this. Cause I’m thinking, like, it’s a good question. Like gray. Maybe just like gray seems like a good. Now you’re pretty.
Clayton:
You are so hung up on this, like, gray times.
Gray. I don’t do gray. I don’t have grey dreams. I nap in vibrant color. My dreams. Let me tell you something about my dreams. I dream mostly about things like vampires and elevators being sabotaged by secret spies and superheroes. I have a recurring dream where I am Spider-Man and I webslinger around the city.
Patrick:
Goodness gracious.
Clayton:
I have actually a semi recurring dream. It’s been a while, but I’ve had it a few times where you and I are vampire hunters. I go into a crypt under the ground.
Patrick:
Oh, okay. And we hunt.
Clayton:
Vampires with everything. That’s how I dream. And so it’s great. This is part of the reason why I like napping so much, because if I’m going to dream, it’s going to be a real dream.
Patrick:
It’s like, turn on one of the weird channels on Roku, like the ones where you’re like, I don’t think anybody in the world is watching this right now. It’s Tubu.
Clayton:
Or whatever. You know, this is going to be free for about 36 hours until the FCC is like, I don’t think we can allow this. That’s my dreams.
Patrick:
Cease and desist. At Tubu. Seven. Yeah, well, Tubu seven was one well lasted.
Clayton:
But Friday we come anyway. So I’m just. I’m just wreck I’m. I’m wrecked I’m tired I work on Fridays now. And.
Patrick:
Then Friday was five days ago by the way I don’t know if you if you’re keeping track.
Clayton:
What day is it.
Patrick:
I mean Friday in two more days. Not pretty.
Clayton:
It’s not. It’s not. So, anyway, thank you for letting me vent. Little bit. I mean.
Our academic manager. Recently was like, we’re getting the spring schedule together. Please, you know, send me your preferences for class. And I in my emails, your I, I had some bullets of like here the classes I’d like teachers a days of times that work best for me. And one of the bullets was I will pay you $8,000 you never scheduled for Friday again.
I can’t do it. And I would pay $8,000 and never scheduling for Friday again. I can’t do it. I’ve gone ten years. That a Friday. Now I’m doing 15 Fridays. Take me off this planet. I’m done. I’m done. Do you have anything you want to be vulnerable about?
Patrick:
I mean, nothing that monumental. No.
Clayton:
No.
Patrick:
Well, I mean, normal stuff. We had COVID.
Clayton:
Yeah, but anything like important that you want to be vulnerable about here?
Patrick:
No, Nothing. No.
Clayton:
How is everyone in your covered house?
Patrick:
COVID free now
Clayton:
This is so 2020.
Patrick:
I know. Yeah. Yeah, it felt that way with a lot of love sitting in the basement. A lot of like cutting the grass in a mask type shit. Yeah, it was. It was really fun.
Clayton:
Cutting the grass in a mask.
Patrick:
Mm. Oh, yeah. Okay. It, well, it’s because the neighborhood kids won’t stop fucking running up is the thing.
Clayton:
So I guess that is a problem.
Patrick:
I have.
Clayton:
Like doing running up while you’re cutting grass.
Patrick:
They want. They want to talk to the kids. They want to talk to my kids. So.
Clayton:
Yes.
Patrick:
No, the kids are in the house. Because they have COVID. Yeah.
Clayton:
So explain to me.
Patrick:
They run up to me, I’m cutting the grass and they’re like flagging me down, like running up to me while I have a lawnmower going like, hey. Hey, hey, hey. Hey. I shut the fucking lawnmower down. Hey, what’s going on? Hey, King Lori, come out and play. No, no, she can’t. And no, she had COVID, just like yesterday, so. No, no, no. God is not coming out to play.
Clayton:
I have two thoughts about this. One is you’re at the front door. They could go knock on the door and be like, Hey, Gloria, are you here at.
Patrick:
Gloria’s answering the front door because of, you know, covid.
Clayton:
Yeah, well, this my this leads me, I think to my second thought is you have a lawnmower. That’s a plate that spins around real fast. There is a solution to this problem. It’s not pretty. It’s not necessarily socially accepted, but it is a solution.
Patrick:
It seems like a very Edward Scissorhands solution to the problem.
Clayton:
So yeah, which means quirky and yeah, macabre but fun, quirky and effective.
Patrick:
But Gloria is actually Gloria and June are the only two that did not get COVID.
Clayton:
And so I Gloria got My my goddaughter genes, apparently. I injected her during her baptismal event.
Patrick:
And it was an event.
Clayton:
It was an event. And I wore a bow tie that day.
Patrick:
Hmm. Um. Thank God it wasn’t on a Friday, though.
Clayton:
Well, do you want to hear a ghost story?
Patrick:
I do. I I’m afraid my computer is going to run out of memory at this point, so. Yeah, we better get going quick.
Clayton:
There is a town in the United Kingdom, and that town is called. There’s only one. And that town is. Called. Preston.
Patrick:
Preston.
Clayton:
Preston. Yeah.
Patrick:
Where’s Preston? Exactly?
Clayton:
I’m glad you asked. It’s in Lincolnshire. Link Lane. Lancashire. Okay. Lancashire.
Patrick:
You don’t seem super. You don’t seem sure.
Clayton:
Feels like it should have another n in there somewhere. But it doesn’t. So that’s on me. I It’s on me. Okay. It’s a lank. Lancashire.
Speaker 3
Mm hmm.
Clayton:
Lancashire.
Speaker 3
Mm hmm.
Patrick:
If you say it like it 15 times. it’s yours.
Clayton:
So then it shows up here. Yeah. So it’s in Lancashire. And, um. Oh, by the way, this story. So this today’s story was actually recommended by a listener. His name is Angela Eastwood. Bigger. Angela. Thank you, Angela. A lot. She also I, I sorry. I’m Angela. This is. This is just for you. And you’re going to. This is going to mean nothing to you by the time you hear this, because I’m going to respond to you shortly.
Clayton:
But Angela, respond. Send us a new message today with even more ghost stories.
Patrick:
Oh, hey.
Clayton:
So Angela’s doing God’s work out there. Thank you, Angela. Mm. Thank you. I did see your message. I have not not replied yet, but it’s going to happen. But this is Angela, so she’s doing great. And I. I have to say, we actually have been getting quite a lot of tips from the UK word process like, yeah, like kind of a lot. And what we. Have not been getting is a lot of American stories.
Patrick:
It’s pretty skeptical over here.
Clayton:
I guess.
Patrick:
So, you know.
Clayton:
Wasn’t always the case. We had a whole thing in like the 19th century where it was, you know, very in vogue. And now not so much.
Speaker 3
You know.
Clayton:
So I don’t know, I guess, you know, that whole American greatness thing is a big lie.
Patrick:
Finally, finally rearing its head on the topic of ghost discourse.
Clayton:
That’s right. So, American friends, listen, it would be help if you and I’m you should get on this get on this in and take some of my take some of my stuff for me. And in the meantime, we’re going to do, I guess, a lot of UK stories because they keep coming in. So this one again is Angela. Thank you so much. Let’s see. So this is Preston’s Preston is a city that sits on the river Ribble.
Patrick:
The what, ribble.
Clayton:
The river. Ribble Yeah, river. Okay. River.
Patrick:
Ribble River. Rebel Okay.
Clayton:
The rebel rebel River. Rip River. Rebel Miserable. What does a rebel mean? Uh.
Patrick:
Rebel I mean, that’s. It’s what the Hamburglar says. That’s all I know. It’s.
Clayton:
It’s close. It’s true. Yeah, That’s what the British version says. Yeah. Ribble.
Patrick:
Ribble. Let’s go put these hamburgers in a in a spanner. No, no, no, no. Sorry. boot. Boot. I couldn’t remember.
Clayton:
It on a boot.
Patrick:
Let’s go put these hamburgers in the boot. Ribble Ribble
Clayton:
That’s a trunk, right?
Patrick:
I think so. I know it’s not a wrench/
Clayton:
I don’t know. These are these burgers in a lift.
Clayton:
Ribble Ribble What are some other fun things we can say about what is almost our majority listener base now? So. So Preston is it’s a pretty well it’s an all so this is I gosh we’re so grateful for our UK listeners I don’t understand anything you do I mean so Preston is an old place like back to like ancient Roman times but but is also a pretty new city. So and I, I’m trying real hard to wrap my head around it, but it’s so Preston formerly it formerly gained city status in the year of 2002. Okay so I guess it was unincorporated this sort of thing.
Until then. This was the 50. It was gosh, I mean, I don’t even know what this sentence means. It was a 50th city in the 50th year of Queen Elizabeth, the second reign.
Patrick:
I don’t yeah, I don’t have any. Yeah, no idea.
Clayton:
I mean, it’s it’s tough. It’s tough to unpack.
Patrick:
Like we just create cities over here whenever there there’s, like, a tax advantage. Yeah, like, Oh, hey, we’re in a new city. We’re called Willow Stream or something.
Clayton:
We’re called Taxus Less. We have not. And we have not made any cities in during Biden’s reign. And I just. I can’t have one if we’re missing an opportunity. Oh, so what is it like again? This. This town goes back to fucking ancient Roman times. Like you’re just sitting on this until the 50th year of some monarch’s 50th.
And I know it’s a 50th city in the 50th year, I guess. Is it the 50th city in the 50th year, or is it the 50th city? And it happened to correspond with the 50th… whatever.
Patrick:
Yeah, there’s. Yeah, yeah. I don’t know. There’s there’s no way they made 2500 cities in 50 years over there whenever like the whole place is the size of like Rhode Island, you know, think oh yeah.
Clayton:
I don’t. Think so. I don’t know. But I bet they f&^$%ng love it. They probably put up bumper stickers 50th or the 50th age of 50, a city in a 50. Year, you.
Patrick:
Had to go there. Yeah. They thought.
Clayton:
Like it’s hard not to.
Patrick:
Like a city forming in England in the 2000. I mean, feels like. Like if they build like a like a, like a crate and barrel in the Vatican City or something like that, like it’s, it’s, it’s just, it doesn’t seem to me like somebody is not really planning things out very well.
Clayton:
Yeah. And as we’ll soon learn like it’s been called Preston for literally centuries, but like now.
Patrick:
It’s like no one for all the paperwork. Yeah. Okay. All right. Yeah.
Clayton:
So this is going.
Patrick:
To tax Dodge for, oh, millennia or so, but somebody finally got wise.
Clayton:
Boy. But see it town. This town is actually very old. The Romans built roads through this area and they were in power. And so this so, you know, the the area came to be called Preston eventually, which is derived from the old English word for priests settlement.
Patrick:
Mm.
Clayton:
So it was a pretty cool place.
Speaker 3
Yes.
Clayton:
Real quick happened in times in the 1700s which was a while ago.
Patrick:
Mm.
Clayton:
Edmund called me describe Preston as quote a pretty town with an abundance of gentry in it, commonly called Proud Preston.
Patrick:
So it was boring in its places.
Clayton:
It sounds insufferable. It was, God, rich people here who are inflating the name, like, proud. Yeah. This sounds terrible.
Patrick:
Oh, like, like, like a town in the middle of nowhere whose only export is, like, payroll processing software. Like. Oh, yes.
Clayton:
But if we walk around with enough canes, we will see, like, the land gentry crowd. PRESTON So they suck and Preston was, uh, but it was kind of, it was kind of a thing. Preston was a first English town outside of London to be lit by gas, so it is a pretty big deal for reasons I don’t listen.
It’s reasons I only sent in those of you who live around this area. I ought to be clear. I don’t mean to sound. I don’t care. Please don’t send. Me details.
About why this was a big deal. It’s it’s not germane to the story in the. I just my my head has has only enough room for things. And most of it now is filled up by working on Friday. So please, please don’t.
But where are we? Here. Oh, so it’s a pretty exciting and actually progressive place to live in in 19th century terms. You know, they’re like, Yeah, let’s get. How’s your toilet doing there, by the way?
Patrick:
It’s apparently doing really well.
Clayton:
Did I tell you Jeremy emailed me when he was editing the last episode and he’s like, this I think sounds pretty good. And he was right. He it sounds great between you, you figuring out how to unpack your audio in him, figuring it out and our audio. Last week’s episode was really incredible. But he did. He was like, I, I don’t know what to do.
So Patrick’s toilet’s flushing. And I said, Welcome to the club, friend. Ira. This is just part of the podcast. It’s part of the experience. I think of listening to this podcast is, is hearing your family flush toilets and hearing me kind of try to fill time while you have your microphone muted so we don’t hear your toilets. Would you agree with that or should I continue to kind of, yeah.
Okay. I keep going.
Patrick:
And I’m back. Thanks so much, guys. Anyway, is anybody wants to do a little bit of math as to whether or not my toilet is sick.
Clayton:
Have a lot.
Patrick:
Of things to fill the tank. That is literally how long it takes.
Clayton:
That’s a long time, isn’t it?
Patrick:
Yeah. I think my.
Clayton:
Should you get a better toilet.
Patrick:
Well we will let the readers do some do some quick math on that one. It seems bad, but that’s also me, the.
Clayton:
Readers of this podcast. We will turn it over to the readers.
Patrick:
Yeah, Yeah. There’s a transcript that comes out right?
Clayton:
I don’t think so.
Patrick:
I mean, the ADA requires that.
Clayton:
So we’re going to need another intern. So if You do change it. Please let us know. isthisaghost@gmail.com? Gosh, where is this? This is great because this is a short story. So this is great. So this is the idea actually. So it is during this time where things are exciting and progressive. Impressed.
Patrick:
Yes.
Clayton:
There’s gas now and everyone’s like, wow. It’s during this time that I can see this.
Patrick:
Boring city at night now. Holy shit.
Clayton:
Hurray! It’s during this time you can see this boring city at night that Dorothy Bannister is born.
Patrick:
I mean, should I know her? I mean, I don’t think. Ring a bell.
Clayton:
Okay. I was. I was leaving space for you. No, no, I said I said failure. And it’s a thing. Nobody on the show.
Patrick:
No idea.
Patrick:
So was she in Love Actually was she in Love Actually.
Clayton:
Yes. Yes, I know. I know.
Patrick:
I know her. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, she was she and I actually know which.
Clayton:
One she is. I mean, I’m not sure you should. I think maybe the octopus.
Speaker 3
Oh, she’s so young.
Clayton:
Or one of the. One of the three lobsters.
Patrick:
Okay.
Clayton:
Okay. Lobster two, maybe. Lobster two. Maybe she was.
Patrick:
I’ve got. I’ve got a picture.
Clayton:
Definitely one. Yeah.
Patrick:
Okay. Because you’re up here. So the fine by the way, I think.
Clayton:
Every person who exists in the UK was in Love, Actually. So the answer to that question will always be yes.
Patrick:
Oh.
Clayton:
And she’s, she’s one of them. So the Bannisters live in a neighborhood called Snow Hill. I just. It’s the name England. Hey, you.
Patrick:
Know, again, coming from the U.S., like everything here is called Willow, Something. So I don’t really. I can’t answer.
Clayton:
You can’t? Yeah, that’s true. Yeah, that’s true. But it’s only Snow Hill for, like three months out of the year. Yeah. Max.
Patrick:
Yeah.
Clayton:
Now, I don’t know that.
Patrick:
It’s a dumb name, but again, it’s. It’s lazy world of dumb.
Clayton:
Lazy. Yeah, it is a world. You know what it is a world of dummies. You’re right. And, uh, and I will say this, I, I would love for us to do a, uh, a tour sometime in the UK, so.
Patrick:
Can we not go here though.
Clayton:
We should be nicer. No, we’re not going to go that.
Patrick:
Clearly, not.
Clayton:
But, you know, if we. We could it could, we could go in, it could be a tax write off and.
Patrick:
We could.
Clayton:
See the Cardinals playing London.
Patrick:
Wouldn’t be the authentic Preston experience would be writing the whole thing off as a tax.
Clayton:
Feels real. Hey UK listeners, if you are interested in in attending a live episode of Is this a Ghost, let us know because the Cardinals, I think, will come back to London in the next few years probably. Right? It’s like a routine thing.
Patrick:
We’re also going to need forged work visas. Keep that in mind because that’s going to be critical to the to the tax write off. I don’t.
Clayton:
Have it. Yeah, Whatever you can forge for us is good. Yeah. Just when you when you email to us, make sure you use the code word Dr. Brown, because that’s what we do. That’s our code word to do a race. Traces of everything. So do that. Oh, gosh. Anyway, Hey, where are. Oh, so Dorothy is born. Dorothy Bannister, So.
Okay. And Dorothy goes up to be very attractive. Mm. I have varying caps like.
Patrick:
Like Preston, England. Attractive or like.
Clayton:
She’s like the ScarJo of gosh, of the Lancashire of the time. Or in the place. I don’t know.
Patrick:
It’s tough. It’s tough, but okay, you know, it’s like.
Clayton:
It, she, at minimum she is a ScarJo to those people.
Patrick:
Okay.
Clayton:
That’s why maybe even two more people. Mm hmm. Hard to say. And so she’s, she’s very attractive and, and you know, clearly looks are everything. So she’s very popular in town because they’re like, wow, you are an attractive human.
Patrick:
It must be important. Are you more than two? Yeah. Oh, you.
Clayton:
Are. Should we give you this money? I don’t I Here’s the gold I have in my pocket. Do you want it? I just. I don’t. I don’t know. You, but you are so attractive. I see. We should have this more than I should have this. She. She’s so attractive. So she goes by the name Dollar. Your name’s Dorothy. She goes by Dolly, and she’s just. She’s just, you know, so gosh darn good looking that the local townsfolk refer to who referred to her as the Bannister doll.
Patrick:
Mm. That seems. I don’t know, like Dolly. I’m okay with the Bannister doll. That definitely seems.
Clayton:
Pretty weird.
Patrick:
Right? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, sounds either like. Like a weird noise punk band or probably Ghost, as I. Frankly, I mean, it really does.
Clayton:
Well, it’s like, which came first? The Ghost or the name? And we may never know. Like, did the name cause the Ghost? Because it’s a great name for a ghost. And they were calling her this early on. So maybe they maybe they forced her to become a ghost by calling her this.
Patrick:
Like, whenever you name your son Jeeves, like.
Clayton:
Well, he now waits on people.
Patrick:
Yeah, He’s like yeah, I want to be a doctor, too. So, Doctor Jeeves, isn’t a thing. But that’s not happening now.
Clayton:
But can you carry a tray? That’s great. Great. Interesting. Yeah.
Patrick:
Very naturally, don’t you? Hmm.
Clayton:
Well, nature versus nurture, this whole question is suddenly solved. So Dolly’s father was a man named John Bannister. And by the way, so this is one of those moments where it’s like, hey, if you if you do your own research, which, you know, you don’t have to do, I do that for you. If you’re ever concerned that I’m not doing a good job, you might go out and do your research and, you know, Godspeed.
We welcome that. If you do that, you’ll find the most telling of this story suggests that John Bannister was the mayor. Preston, It doesn’t actually seem to be true. You got to dig pretty deep as I did because I love the show. I love it. I do. I think it very seriously. And he was not the governor, the mayor of the town.
He was actually the head of a house of correction at this time.
Patrick:
It was the warden.
Clayton:
Well, yes, but they called it the governor.
Patrick:
Okay.
Clayton:
Which is how I think we get the misunderstanding. He was a mayor.
Patrick:
Yeah.
Clayton:
I think he’s the governor. Oh, well, we would translate the mayor. No, he’s the governor of a basically a prison.
Patrick:
Okay.
Clayton:
Um.
Patrick:
This is also kind of the era where the mayor just names the town after himself, Correct? That’s pretty, you know, So.
Clayton:
Yeah. Yeah.
Patrick:
This doesn’t suddenly become, you know, Bannister, England. Then it’s pretty clear that he doesn’t have enough enough juice there.
Clayton:
He has a real job. He probably even works on a Friday, which is insane. So he governs this house corrections. He’s the governor of that, which I assume means when, when people see him in town, they say things like, I know Governor. So John Barry is he he would have hated that that because he’s a very serious man.
Patrick:
Right. Yeah.
Clayton:
He hates jokes. It’s loud noises he hates.
Patrick:
And everyone is so mad because that’s like how they greet everybody. That’s like how they greet like.
Clayton:
I mean, you know, man.
Patrick:
Oh, yeah. And like, finally, like, no, I’m the actual governor, and he’s the one that doesn’t like it, so.
Clayton:
Hello, Governor, Governor.
Patrick:
Yeah, I was like, I. You don’t have to do it. It’s just have to do it.
Clayton:
Yeah, but every other person is like. I mean, it’s. Yeah. So, you know, I, I sympathize with his plight. Sure. He again, as I said, he probably also works Fridays so I’m, I’m on his side. It’s it’s terrible. He was a very so John Bannister was a very serious man and a strict disciplinarian.
Patrick:
Mm hmm.
Clayton:
And his wife died not long after Dolly was born. So it was really it was just the two of them. And he was very protective of Dolly. He was very strict. Now, as I noted before, she was she’s a real babe. She, uh. She’s. She’s got something going on. And. And he, you know, he has his eyes to see this, right? And so as a strict parent, he’s also like, Hey, you can’t go on dates with people. People are going to want to date you. You can’t do that. That’s a that’s a no.
Patrick:
Mm hmm. Yeah.
Clayton:
He’s one of those.
Patrick:
Parenting one on one. That is the best way. I think keep your daughter from dating is to tell them. Say never date anyone. Yeah, yeah, definitely don’t do that. Yeah. Yeah.
Clayton:
And if you want them to, not dance, you tell them dancing is illegal. And I learned that from Footloose. If you keep Kevin Bacon out of your town, that’s going to hold him. If you let Kevin Bacon in, that will fall apart. Don’t let Bacon come to your town.
He is a moralist anyway, so he’s very protective is under B be courted or whatever isn’t going to go to pound town. Oh which is which go ahead. No sorry, go ahead.
Patrick:
I just want to remind our listeners that the name of the Dollar store in England is Powntown.
Clayton:
Yes. Yeah. Okay. Yes. This is exactly what I want to say. So Angela, who recommended this story as part of the story, she was also like, Hey, by the way, I live next to a dollar store.
Patrick:
I’m sorry, but how did she phrase it?
Clayton:
And she says it’s called Pound Land. Oh, And she wanted to make it very clear.
Patrick:
So much worse.
Clayton:
Pound Land. And that pound town now isn’t one.
Patrick:
That’s so much worse. That makes it seem like like a.
Clayton:
It’s an entire continent of pounding.
Patrick:
Yeah.
Clayton:
She was very adamant and I Angela she seems really cool so she at one point she told me that something was in like some Lancashire or whatever and I, I wrote back, I was like Hey why are there so many shires in your country? Like this is there’s too many shires. I can’t I can’t pronounce all these different shires, so many shires in the country.
And she very quickly wrote back to confuse the Orcs. So that’s a very solid joke. So she’s she’s doing great.
But she did think that it would set the record straight to say actually it’s Pound Land, but I, I’m with you, I think.
Patrick:
It doesn’t rhyme.
Clayton:
That’s true.
Patrick:
But boy I think it’s pretty. I am I probably pretty clearly was called Pound Town for like 20 years. And then it was just like, oh, you know, guys America.
Clayton:
Americans are coming over and.
Patrick:
People are making like, oh.
Clayton:
No, no, auntie, Americans are coming over and saying, Oh, they’re taking the pictures, Put it on the Tik Tok, I guess, is how that conversation probably went. I would say.
Patrick:
Exactly, Yeah. Yeah. Again, But for the record, Poundland, not not as good. Not as good.
Clayton:
It’s I do.
Patrick:
Like also worse.
Clayton:
Yeah. It is. It’s exactly it’s, it’s not as good and worse. Yes. Yeah. So thank you. I guess, Angelo, for that.
Patrick:
Poundland seems like it’s like the like the place that, like the Care Bears, like their bare land would be, like, in constant battle with.
Clayton:
I hate to say this, but I also have a Care Bears visual from that. And. I hate that about myself. I hate that about yourself. Well, I hate that for us.
Patrick:
We’re in good company.
Clayton:
It does reach out to.
Patrick:
So anyway, I don’t I also don’t go to Poundland. But that’s fine.
Clayton:
That’s I mean, do it. So one day, he, one day John comes, comes home from work and and Dolly breaks some hard news to him and she says.
Patrick:
I’ve been to pound town. I’m so.
Clayton:
Sorry. Well, she says, Hey, dad, look, dude, don’t, please don’t get mad. But I am pregnant.
Patrick:
Mm hmm.
Clayton:
And John goes, crazy. So he is so angry. He’s an absolute rage.
Patrick:
Mm hmm. Which fucking care? Bear? Just tell me.
Clayton:
It was the grumpy one, right?
Patrick:
It was. It had to be easy. Yeah, it’s got.
Clayton:
To be the sad one with the cloud in the range. Yeah.
Patrick:
That emo fucking care bear. I told you, I told you to stay away from his land.
Clayton:
Yeah, boy. So this is the last joke I seen. He was awake for several minutes because this gets kind of dark, so.
Patrick:
Okay.
Clayton:
Um, he he’s. He’s very angry because this is going to make him look so bad.
Patrick:
Mm.
Clayton:
Clearly, it’s one of those things. Yeah. And he tells her she’s bringing shame to her mother’s memory. Of it because. He’s. He’s. He’s furious. Um, he’s so mad. Is screaming at her. He grabs her by the hair, he drags her out into the street.
Oh. And he tied her to a tree in the garden, and he starts to whip her as punishment. She’s. It does get worse from here. If you want to skip ahead like 30 or 60 seconds, That’s you. You that’s good time for that. So he’s he’s really he’s really going he’s he’s really into it and he’s he’s he’s, you know, doing this a lot.
The gutter is flowing red, but the blood from her back and he keeps going until he literally exhausts himself. So he’s, you know, which again is you know, it’s it’s it’s the thing that we talk about sometimes on this podcast for different reasons. And this is one of them. And it’s very bad. And, uh, once he’s tired, he’s like, This is enough.
We’ve got my anger out. He orders one of his staff to cut her down and bring her back inside.
Patrick:
Mm.
Clayton:
They’ll figure this out in the morning. Yeah. So. Yes. So the servant goes, he cuts her down, but before they can even get her inside, she dies. He’s lost so much. So much blood.
Patrick:
Mm hmm.
Clayton:
And I know you’re thinking. You’re probably like, Well, this story has gotten as bad as it can be, and it won’t get worse. So thank goodness we’ve made it this far. Hmm. I’m here to tell you this is wrong. Um, because later, I don’t know how much later, but some some leader. Her father found out that the reason she was pregnant was not because she had had a romantic relationship, but because she had been sexually assaulted.
Patrick:
Oh.
Clayton:
Okay. And she didn’t get a chance to tell him that because. He.
Patrick:
Because of all the. It is the physical abuse, right? Correct.
Clayton:
Exactly. So it’s very bad.
Patrick:
Mm hmm. Um.
Clayton:
But Dolly. So Dolly, the the upshot is that Dolly, Dolly passes away and she is buried in the graveyard at Holy Trinity Church in Trinity Square.
Patrick:
Mm hmm.
Clayton:
That’s where they layer. Now, one evening, sometime later, not a lot of time later.
Patrick:
So I’m sorry not to interrupt too much. Any other other consequences here? I’m a little busy.
Clayton:
She died, so that’s one.
Patrick:
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Not for her.
Clayton:
For the.
Patrick:
Dead. Pretty clear. Yeah, for person that murdered her in the street. That’s kind of my. My. I see.
Clayton:
Uh, no.
Patrick:
I. Ah. Ah. It’s one of those kinds of town. Yes. Okay.
Clayton:
For asking. The answer is no. Oh, it’s getting worse. Yeah.
Patrick:
It gets very worse.
Clayton:
Okay, cool. I did warn you.
Patrick:
Mm hmm.
Clayton:
So? So she she goes. So she’s buried there. Um. Gosh. Where? Sorry, This is great. One evening, sometime later, a neighbor of the Bannisters is Ben saw a beautiful young woman walking up the road in Snow Hill. And this young woman was. I mean, she was gorgeous, but she was also drenched in blood, and her face made her seem super fucking serious.
Patrick:
Mm. Okay. All right.
Clayton:
So as this this is going. Yeah. So this person is watching, watching this woman walking up the road.
Patrick:
She was the one you avoid, by the way. Yeah. Like a beautiful woman covered in blood.
Clayton:
20,000%. Yes. Correct. Right. So this onlooker realizes that she’s looking at a tally of the Banister doll herself. And… She knows her. So she recognizes her. She sees like, Oh, shit, this is her. However, you’re dead. So this is the first go setting. She’s like, Oh, oh, fuck, this is bad. And so the woman cries out. Now, I don’t know if she was like calling out to her or just like I.
Patrick:
Which is.
Clayton:
What I would do if I realized I was looking.
Patrick:
At a ghost while running. Running and.
Clayton:
Screaming.
Patrick:
Yeah, yeah.
Clayton:
Oh, fall, fall, fall, tumble, tumble, roll downhill. That’s my whole thing. So she cries out. When she did, the ghost of Dolly turned to look at her and they locked eyes.
Patrick:
Mm.
Clayton:
And then the ghost disappears. Oh, now, the next morning, a young man was found in Preston, murdered right in the town center.
Patrick:
Um.
Clayton:
And his skull and his rib cage have been crushed to a pulp.
Patrick:
Hmm.
Clayton:
And no one could determine how it happened. There was no sign of any actual weapon used.
Patrick:
Mm hmm.
Clayton:
Other than the fact that his skull and rib cage had been crushed.
Patrick:
Right.
Clayton:
Which seems like some evidence, but they. They were like, there’s no it’s not a hammer. It’s not like a blunt object. Right. You know, they could not they were like these. He’s crushed. He’s. He’s extremely dead in a very concrete way. But the bones are such that we don’t it doesn’t make any sense.
Patrick:
Yeah. Like, despite the apparent legality of murder in this town, everyone is a little on edge now because Derek is.
Clayton:
Now, if you can explain the murder, you could be the murderer. As the saying goes, I think. So. So this happened. So the police are they’re they’re very confused and they are on edge. Two weeks after this, a second man is found murdered in the exact same way, crushed ribs, crushed skull. But there is no actual evidence of like bludgeoning right. So everyone is like, what the fuck is happening? No one knows what’s happening.
Patrick:
Maybe an elephant. That’s all I can think of. That’s, you know, it’s.
Clayton:
They were like, Is it an elephant? And someone was like, No. If an elephant did this, you would see.
Patrick:
Like, no.
Clayton:
Crack.
Patrick:
Exactly. The only elephant in town, an alibi. And it is airtight. He was standing on one of those little stools being scared by a mouse all night.
Clayton:
He had a feather in his trunk. And when we asked him to please come to the station, he flew away. And that’s something we should investigate because that shouldn’t happen. But he’s a fucking flying elephant, so I don’t think it’s him. So, boy, are we the to say, Oh, yeah. So two weeks later, another one is found and more people had seen Dolly’s Ghost walking up Snow Hill during that time.
Clayton:
So people are putting the pieces together and they’re like, Holy shit. Dolly’s goat Dolly is out, She’s out, She’s she’s unleashed and she is killing young men. A few weeks after this, a third body is found. Same exact thing, young man. Skull, crushed, rib cage crushed. Doesn’t match any sort of weapon. But people had seen Dolly walking around that night.
Um. Um, so Dolly seems to have returned from the grave to murder the young man of Preston.
Patrick:
Hmm. How far did she get?
Clayton:
Only three. Well, I mean, so. She. After three, her thirst for vengeance was over, and I. So I, I’ve got a couple of assassins. One, It couldn’t be one. So she’s walking up the road of Snow Hill trying to get to her house, apparently is going. Mm hmm. She might be trying to go kill her dad for really?
Patrick:
Clearly.
Clayton:
Yeah, that’s my number one.
Patrick:
Yeah, you let slide, but.
Clayton:
These guys are, like, in the way, and they’re like, Hey, here, I know you’re covered in blood, but you’re pretty cute.
Patrick:
And there’s no way you get to Mr. Bannister. Oh, here we go.
Clayton:
Your blood. But. The way your chin looks. Would you like to go get about a sporty. Oh, what’s an elephant?
Patrick:
Yeah, of there. Oh, shit.
Clayton:
Oh, I know. So it seems like maybe she’s trying to get to her dad to kill him, but good people keep getting in the way. That’s a possibility. Also possible that. And I hate to go back to the topic of the assault, but it may be also possible that she was did not know who had raped her and maybe was just kind of finding and attacking men who fit the description of what she didn’t know, what you know, what she saw when she noticed until she was like, oh, this is the one.
Clayton:
Yeah. And took her three tries. And that’s, you know.
Patrick:
I’m sure nobody’s super innocent here. I mean, that’s, you know, we’ve all said things there. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Clayton:
Just to be clear, we’re, we’re pro Dolly on this podcast.
Patrick:
But I’m sure all those guys deserve to get their chest stomped in.
Clayton:
Yeah, it feels right. It feels right. But even though the murders stopped, Dolly herself was seen more and more often. So people started seeing her almost every single night, walking up the road in Snow Hill.
Patrick:
Still angry or bleeding? More like she’s still angry.
Clayton:
She seems less angry. She does still have blood on her, but she’s not like spurting blood out of her. So she’s somewhat sated at this point, which is nice.
Patrick:
Well, I mean, for everybody, obviously.
Clayton:
Yeah. Her father was kind of put off by this whole thing because, again, I really think she’s it seems like she’s coming for him, right? I guess.
Patrick:
So. Yeah.
Clayton:
He’s very stressed out. He dies not too long after all this happens from heart trouble, which.
Patrick:
From his like.
Clayton:
Which does make some.
Patrick:
Dinner or something, you.
Clayton:
Know.
Patrick:
In heart trouble. His heart was compressed to the size of a sheet of paper.
Clayton:
So that and that seems troublesome.
Patrick:
So we’re going to call it natural causes.
Patrick:
Yes.
Clayton:
So he dies and soon after he dies, another family moves into the house and on their very first night, they were accosted by the ghost of Dolly Bannister, whom she appeared in their rooms and started to smash things around the house. She’s a very angry ghost for Yeah, again. Which. Which makes a lot of sense.
Patrick:
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Clayton:
She’s earned all that anger. And then she appeared also the second night, and they were like, Fuck this. And they left. So they were in there for two nights. And were like absolutely. Not.
Patrick:
Out of vases.
Clayton:
Flower pots. Yeah. We will be smashed next if we don’t get out of here. So the next people to move into the house, they managed to make it for three nights, but then they too were like, Absolutely not. This ghost is destroying our world. So she’s still around. In the 1960s, a milkman was making a delivery in the area early one morning when he saw the bloody ghost of Dolly, and he was so scared that he quit his job that day.
Patrick:
Wow.
Clayton:
Never returned to Preston, for example.
Patrick:
Mainly in general. That was like. That was it.
Clayton:
He may have been a milkman somewhere else. I think milkman was a pretty good gig for about six years in the sixties.
Patrick:
So whoever sired too many children in this town, What’s the next town over Blinken Shire. Yeah, Blinken, Charles. That’s the.
Clayton:
One. Yeah. Yeah.
Patrick:
I’m your man to me.
Clayton:
To this day, people still claim to see her walking up this hill in in Snow Hill, covered in blood and just fucking furious. She still, she’s still very and she is notable as one of the very few ghosts across all records that is actually connected to the murder of people which we’ve talked about here like most times, you know ghosts Hey man, Ghost or Scary Ghost or Terrible goes, well, fuck you up, but they don’t seem to actually murder you much.
This is a rare exception.
Patrick:
I guess, unless you wanted to. You know, finger a ghost for a murder that you committed. Of course, that would be.
Clayton:
I mean, it seems pretty easy to do that. Yes, that’s correct. But shy of that, this is a ghost murderer, and that’s all we have. So that’s the story.
Patrick:
Hopefully satisfied for now, though, you know our.
Clayton:
Guy. If I can hope so. I hope so. Hey, we have a lot of UK listeners, as we’ve talked about already. So if you have been murdered by the Bannister dog, please let us know. Is this ghost at gmail.com? Please let us know like what the circumstances of your murder were and we would love to talk about that.
The next episode.
Patrick:
Make sure your phone doesn’t get smashed into million pieces when you get stomped out.
Clayton:
Yeah, that’s true. So, yeah, if you could be like, Hey, one sec, earthquake or send this. Like, text.
That would be, I mean, just helpful for us in our content and stuff. That’d be great. Um, that, that, that is the story of the master doll. What do you think? Any notes, any questions, any concerns?
Patrick:
Three murders is a lot of murders. You know, I guess one way.
Clayton:
More murders And any other ghost we’ve seen.
Patrick:
Mm hmm. I would say so. Um. So, yeah, I don’t know. It’s. It doesn’t seem like a fun town. It seems like maybe there’s a reason it didn’t get incorporated until the 2000s. Maybe.
Clayton:
I think we’ll skip it on our tour for sure. We’re not going there. I’m so. Yeah. And thank you to Angela for suggesting it and for making it a black spot on our map that we will not ever visit. Last week I asked you if you wanted to memorize the the credits that we do now, that we have some folks.
Clayton:
So do you want to take a stab?
Patrick:
Is a Ghost is brought to you by Smith Show Productions. Most of the funny jokes come from Patrick Dean myself. The remainder of them come from Clayton Smith. Jerry Montoya is our audio engineer. Jen Swanson is our video engineer. And hopefully you come back next week to find out what is hard to believe. What is hard to believe.
Clayton:
This has to be hard, but could could be easy to believe. You don’t know. You know we do next week. Yeah. We have no idea. But I’ll say that was great. Hey, you did a great job.
Patrick:
Thank you. It only took me two tries.
Clayton:
Yeah, Yeah.
But, uh. But we’re. We. We. Doc Brown the first one. So I took one track when they hear one. So it’s for listening. We will see you again here next week. And is this a ghost? Okay? No, I was thinking while I was gone, we should write the thing about having a safe word for Jeremy and for Jen.
This is awesome. And I keep forgetting we have two editors. We went from 0 to 2, which is.
Patrick:
Infinite increase.
Clayton:
Is that we can’t use it as a joke. That defeats the entire purpose.
Patrick:
I was serious. I wasn’t. I was. Whatever. Okay, fine.
Clayton:
Yeah, no, that’s fine. So, Jeremy, if you have not deleted it now using this engine, also delete that any time anyone says it, here’s okay, here’s what I’ll do. So the safe word is Dr. Brown. But if one of us wants to override a Dr. Brown, we have to say Alex Keaton. Okay, So that’s this is the system.
Now, everyone write this down.
Patrick:
No, there’s a lot for me to write down.
Clayton:
Yeah, but do you see? It’s like. It’s interesting cause it’s connected. You know. Through Michael J. Fox, but it’s not so connected that you wouldn’t accidentally say them together.
Patrick:
Mm hmm. Okay. Okay, okay. I can.
Clayton:
See. Okay, great. So we’re okay? This is easy. Great start.
Patrick:
What I love about it is by by. Referencing Alex Keaton. Huh? What you’re doing is you’re going back in time before. Oh, so.
Clayton:
Well, I think, actually, that what you’re doing is a simultaneous thing because actually worked on both of those at the same time. Somewhat famously, I think he had to work. He did like all he went nights he worked for Back to the Future. And during the days he was shooting, the family ties.
Patrick:
The thing that family ties this one, right? Yeah. So he.
Clayton:
Was like he was not sleeping for all the shooting of. It’s a wild story, actually.
Patrick:
If you were going back and seeing like they they have some scenes on like I think it’s on the DVD extras whatever of the scenes they shot with Eric Stoltz because like. clearly I forgot.
Patrick:
Was he was the original Yeah yeah he was originally in it and they were like eventually was just like, I don’t really want to do this anymore. And they just they just parted ways. They’re like, Yeah, you’re really bad at this. And they were like, Oh, hey, you know, it was on TV last night and they just literally fished out Alex Keaton Family Ties and cast him.
Patrick:
That’s great.
Clayton:
So and what, what a gigawatt was what a good decision.
Patrick:
Where would we be without? That word? You.
Clayton:
My childhood would have been at least 4% different.
Patrick:
When you had no idea what a gigawatt was.
Clayton:
Which I like.
Patrick:
I know I probably would by, but. Okay.
Clayton:
Okay. Yeah, we get it. You’re an engineer. We. We. Okay. You’re cool. We fine.
